I have to talk about these two together, because in combination, they often create one of the biggest headaches commuters face each and every morning – the Complete Stop For No Apparent Reason. “The Pokey” is, as you may have guessed, a slowpoke. Now, I would cringe at the accusation that I am a “Leadfoot” (or “Zippy”, as I’ll talk about at a later date), but I do like to drive fast. Safely, yes, for I do not believe in that bullshit that “speed kills”, but a little fast. (Speed doesn’t kill, bad driving does. Race car drivers survive fast driving all the time.) I feel that the 55 MPH Speed Limit for interstate highways, which were built when the national speed limit was 75 MPH, is too oppressive. I even think that 65 MPH is too low, but at least it’s a lot closer to the speed at which I like to drive. I’m not going to set myself up for a conviction for speeding by saying anything more specific than that. (more…)
April 24, 2008
April 17, 2008
Driving Me Crazy – This Isn’t Any Signal
“This isn’t any signal. It’s a direct statement. If it’s a signal, fine.” – George H. W. Bush, as reported in New York Times, Mar 10, 1980, p B10
On most cars that I have been in, there is a stick coming out of the left-hand side of your car’s steering column which I’m certain is gathering dust in some people’s cars. It’s the lever that operates the turn signals, otherwise more cleverly – and properly – known as “directional indicators”, on account of they’re for indicating which direction you intend to take your car next. And that’s the whole key right there. Until you use your turn signals (I’ll use turn signals if it makes everyone happier, until I have a point to make), people are going to expect that you’re going to continue what you’re doing, especially if what you’re doing is just driving along at a steady speed in the lane you’re currently in. (more…)
April 9, 2008
Driving Me Crazy – The Pacer
Well, lucky you, Dear Readers. Today starts a new feature on Pick Wayne’s Brain. It’s where I finally start fulfilling my dream of being able to tell you about those idiots out there who don’t know how to drive properly. Oh, the things I’ve seen. Worse still, the things I’ve heard about. Well, I’m going to tell you where some of your fellow citizens are going wrong. I’ll introduce you to the vast array of Driver Types that I’ve created over the years (well, “created” in the sense that I thought of them myself and didn’t steal them from anybody, even though someone else might have thought of them, too) including “The Gapper”, “The Pokey” and, today’s target, “The Pacer”. (By the way, how do I know it’s not one of you I’ll be writing about? Because I know that you are all smart people, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this blog. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed about the people of whom I’ll be writing, it’s this: They’re not very bright.)
A Pacer is one of those people who (more…)
