Pick Wayne's Brain

April 14, 2008

Joke Time: The Gorilla and The Redneck

Filed under: Joke Time — Tags: — Wayne A. Schneider @ 4:00 AM

A small zoo in West Virginia obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

“First”, Bobby Lee said, “I ain’t gonna kiss her on the lips.” The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

“Second”, he said, “She must wear a ‘Dale Earnhardt Forever’ T-Shirt.” The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

“Third”, he said, “you can’t never tell no one about this.” The keeper obviously agreed to this condition.

“Fourth”, Bobby Lee said, “I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.” Once again it was agreed.

“And last,” Bobby Lee said, “I’ll need another week to come up with the $500.”

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1 Comment

  1. Hello

    Why stay bitter when you can rightly take out your frustrations in a peaceful way on these Republican party contributors and get needed legislation, and an end to the war and to get lower gas prices.

    Have you had enough of petitions, rallies, and protests that have not worked to end war, and to get needed legislation enacted into law? The Republican party and their conservative members appears insulated from the public and unresponsive to the public. However their contributors do not appear insulated from the public and can collapse under pressure to a withering telephone campaign threatening mass boycotts of their products until they get their friends at the GOP to do what we want. Simply silently boycotting these companies will not do enough. You need to get as many people as you can to take the political fight to these companies that aid the Republican party.

    I have created these campaigns to peacefully take back America. After you have made these phone calls please send me email to info@democratz.org with the subject CALLED.

    http://www.democratz.org

    Get as many people to make these phone calls.

    Call Republican contributor and war contractor General Electric Corporation at 800 386 1215 or 203 373 2211 and tell the person who
    answers, that you want the GE CEO Jeffrey Immelt to get Bush to end the war in Iraq and then Bush resign with Cheney and until that happens you will not buy any GE products and that you will tell your friends about this. Then call a local appliance store that sells GE appliances and tell the person you will not buy any GE products
    from their store until they can convince the GE CEO to convince George W Bush to end the war and then resign with Cheney.

    Call Republican contributor Rite Aid Pharmacies at 800 325 3737 and tell the person that you want the Rite Aid CEO to get the congress
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    B covering 80% of the cost of drugs with no extra premiums, no extra deductibles, no means tests, no coverage gaps, and remove the means test for Medicare Part B and until that happens, you won’t buy ANYTHING from Rite Aid.

    Call Republican contributor Wendy’s restaurants at 614 764 3553 and tell the person in that you want their CEO to get the congress
    and the President to enact a $10/HR MIN. WAGE into law and until this happens you will not go to a Wendy’s Restaurant.

    Call your local Exxon/Mobil gas station and tell the manager that you will not get your car repaired there, nor will you buy gasoline there
    until their parent company sets their price so that they can sell you gasoline for $1.75 a gallon. Then only do business with other gas
    stations. We will no longer stand for $3 a gallon gasoline.

    Kentucky Residents:

    Call General Electric Appliances Corporation in Louisville at 502 452 4311 and other appliance stores that sell GE products and demand that they get Senator Mitch McConnell to get an end to the Iraq war and for Bush and Cheney to resign and until that happens you will not buy any GE refrigerators, stoves, televisions, dishwashers, ovens, lightbulbs, etc. Get as many Kentucky residents to make these phone calls.

    After you make these calls you can also call Mitch McConnell’s office and tell his office that you have called GE in Lousiville and won’t
    buy their products until Mitch McConnell gets an end to the war and gets Bush and Cheney to resign.

    General Electric Appliances
    9500 Williamsburg Office Plaza
    Louisville, KY 40222
    USA

    tel: 800 626 2000
    tel: 502 452 4311
    502 452 4313

    I set up a progressives forum for progressives and liberals
    only. Get as many progressives and liberals to join as you
    can.

    http://progressives.aceboard.com

    I do not seek donations. You can use the board for free.

    Comment by The Liberal Democratic Party of the United States — April 14, 2008 @ 10:29 PM


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