Pick Wayne's Brain

September 19, 2008

He’s Still Lock and Load to Me

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 9:51 PM
I am frightened at the prospect of a McCain (and subsequent Palin) Presidency because I do not trust him (or her) with our nation’s military arsenal at his (or her) disposal. I think they would be too eager to use them. I will never forget what Bill Clinton said at the convention, “America leads best by the power of our example, not by an example of our power.” I just wish I could trust old “Lock and Load” McCain to keep his itchy trigger finger otherwise occupied. On what (or whom) I couldn’t care less. Enjoy this parody of the great Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me”. And, as always, thank you Jane for your help.

He’s Still Lock and Load To Me
Original words and music “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me” by Billy Joel, 1980
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

“What’s the matter with the guys I’m hiring?”
Can’t you tell that they’re all too white?
“Maybe I should buy some help from a lobby?”
Welcome back to the ‘Keating Five’.
Where have you been hiding facts lately, Johnny?
You can’t talk trashy ‘cause you think you’re being funny.
Everybody wants to give the “New John” money,
But he’s still “Lock and Load” to me.

“What’s the matter with the war I’m priming?”
Can’t you tell that it’s not our style?
“Should I launch a squad of smart bomb flyers?”
Are you gonna watch the body count pile?
Nowadays you can’t be too temperamental,
You can’t get votes if you ain’t presidential.
Tough talk, bad walk, even if it’s just squawk,
It’s still “Lock and Load” to me

Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say on the TV
‘Cause it’s always been a hostile scene
There’s a new face in town and she acts like a clown,
Told her story to a magazine
And she’s a beauty queen

“How about a pair of cruise sidewinders
And a bright orange ball of fire?”
You could really be a war-monger baby
If you just weren’t a sorry liar.
Don’t waste our money on a new set of speeches,
We get more candor from our blood-sucking leeches.
Next phase, bomb waves, war craze, Iran pays
You’re still “Lock and Load” to me

“What’s the matter with the crowd I’m seeing?”
Don’t you know that they’re out of touch?
“Should I try to be a Straight Talk shooter?”
When you are then you lie too much.
Don’t you know about the new passion, Johnny?
All you need is war and you’ll make lots of money.
It’s the next phase, bomb waves, war craze, Iran pays
You’re still “Lock and Load” to me

Everybody wants to give the “New John” money,
But he’s still “Lock and Load” to me.

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