Pick Wayne's Brain

November 22, 2008

Ambien Again

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:50 PM

People have reported episodes of taking Ambien and, not merely sleepwalking, but sleepliving. They’ve been found doing things like driving down to the store and going in to buy something, and not really being awake at all, just in a kind of stupor. Which made me think of this, to the tune of “Ramblin’ Man”, by the Allman Brothers Band.

Ambien Again
Original Words and Music “Ramblin’ Man” by Forrest Richard Betts, 1980
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Lord, I took Ambien again
Drivin’ down the highway and sleepin’ as fast ‘sI can
And when they pull me over
I hope they’ll understand
That I took Ambien again

My father was a doctor down in Georgia
(more…)

November 15, 2008

Re-Thinking Capitalism

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:07 PM

As one of the nation’s premier non-economists, I have some thoughts I’d like to share about how to fix the economy to the betterment of the many over the enrichment of the few. We’ve all heard the expression, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” Most of us believe it to be true (because it is), but the naysayers are almost always from the elite class of people who have quite a lot of money. More than they need, if you want to be perfectly honest. And to me, therein lies the heart of the debate: Should Capitalism be about getting what you need, or getting what you want?

The people who study this stuff refer to it as Wealth Condensation, but I’m a non-economist, so I’m simply going to refer to it as a “flaw” in the system. In a nutshell, the way things are set up right now, wealth flows through the system into the hands of an elite few – the Super Rich. I’m talking about the people with, like, a hundred million dollars or more. They’re out there, and they have a lot of the money. (more…)

The Right-Wing Label

Filed under: Commentary, Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 3:28 AM

The Right-Wing in this country uses fear and hate to win public support for their ideas. This cannot be disputed, and was even studied by Associate Professor Jonathan Haidt (“What Makes People Vote Republican?). In a nutshell, when our fears and emotions are tapped, we tend to react first and rationalize what we did later, even if our “rationale” is in conflict with the facts. Rather than appeal to our intellect and ability to reason our way to a solution, the Right-Wing stokes fear and hate and then tells you who to fear and who to hate. The reason why you should fear and hate becomes completely irrelevant once they have tapped into your emotions, for any kind of “reasoning” will make sense if it makes you feel justified in doing what you did, even if you normally would have thought that what you were doing was wrong. Without this tactic, they could not win support for their arguments on the facts alone. (And when I talk about “facts”, I’m talking about things that are actually true, not what many people might believe to be the truth.)

Whether they want to admit it or not, this attribute in humans to have our sense of fear and hate be easily tapped comes from our evolutionary survival skills. (more…)

November 14, 2008

The Depravity Song

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:26 AM

I’m a Liberal, so I must be depraved, right?

The Depravity Song
Original Words and Music “The Authority Song” by John Cougar Mellencamp, 1984
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

I like to stay out of a compromising position
I like to get somewhere and stay in my place
I think they’re so cute and I start to get that condition
Then I become a total disgrace

And I say

I fight Depravity, Depravity always wins
When I fight Depravity, Depravity always wins
(more…)

November 11, 2008

With Solemn Pride

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918, armistice began. World War I, The “Great War”, the war between the Entente Powers (the Allies) and the Central Powers (led by Germany) had finally come to an end. The next year, President Woodrow Wilson declared November 11, 1919, to be Armistice Day. His proclamation began, “To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…”. (more…)

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