Pick Wayne's Brain

July 12, 2009

Republicans Lie

I have decided to make this post sticky so that newcomers to my blog can find it more easily. I also hope they’ll check out the rest of it, too. And thank you all for visiting my blog.

I have to thank Jane for her fantastic help with some of the words. Her suggestions really made this a lot better and a lot easier to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you very much, and if you’re out there Don McLean™, I apologize. 🙂

UPDATE: At the very good suggestion of a poster at dkos (Fumie), I changed one word. “stay” to “pay”. I like it better. I hope you do, too. I am not in the habit of changing these things after I finally post them (except to correct typos.) 🙂

Republicans Lie
(Original words and music, “American Pie™” by Don McLean™,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that party use to show its guile.
And I knew if they had their chance,
That they would take an ugly stance
And maybe they’d be greedy for a while.

But Ronald Reagan made me shiver
With every falsehood he’d deliver.
Bad views for the nation,
I couldn’t fake elation.

I still remember how they cried
When they read about his widowed bride.
But something left them satisfied,
The way they used their lies.

So why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Do you hate the Book of Rules,
And would you make space for God in schools,
If the Bible tells you so?
Now do you believe in blocking polls,
Can tax cuts save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to think real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with them
‘Cause I saw you votin’ in the gym.
Your vote tipped off your views.
Do you heed political news?
I was a lowly teenage wonkin’ buck,
With an intuition and a bit of pluck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The way they used their lies.

I started singin’,
“Why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Now for eight years we were on our own,
And lies grew fat on a stolen throne,
But that’s not how it’s s’posed to be.
Then the people asked what authority
Gave a cloak for all his secrecy,
But his voice talked down to you and me,

Oh, and while the king was playing clown,
The soldiers laid dead on the ground.
The torture was designed,
No effect would be kind.

And while Cheney paid his cronies back,
The smart ones fact-checked all his smack,
And we saw evil as their tack
The way they used their lies.

We were singin’,
“Why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Hocus pocus, in another focus,
Their virtues formed their moral locus.
Set real high but falling fast
And knocking some out on their ass.
The leaders tried for an Ethics pass,
With molesters in the foreground of the cast.

Now the mid-term gains were sweet perfume,
While war hawks played a marching tune.
We all put up a stance,
Oh, but we never had a chance!
‘Cause the voters want the war repealed,
The lawless band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was concealed
The way they used their lies?

We started singin’,
“Why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Oh, in there they were all in one place,
A delegation lost in faith,
With no time left to start again.
So run on: “Facts” are nimble, “Facts” are slick!
“Facts” flashed flat on a screen are quick
‘Cause liars are the talk show’s only friends.

Oh, and as I heard them on the stage,
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
Some pollster born in Hell
Would take from Newtie’s well.
And as the crimes piled high, no oversight,
To spite the constitution’s might,
I saw Newtie laughing with delight
The way they used their lies.

He was singin’,
“My, my, we Republicans lie.
Give us credit how we edit
Out what we want to hide.
And our Party boys are drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

I met a girl who ran a Zoo
And I asked her what the Libs should do,
She just smiled, said, “Learn to pray.”
I logged onto the C-SPAN store,
Where I heard the true stuff years before,
But the man there said the true stuff didn’t pay.

And in the streets the people screamed.
The bloggers cried, and the Party schemed.
Not a truth was spoken;
The fact-checks all were broken.
And the three men I despised the most,
The Cheney, Bush, and the Fox News Host,
They bought a last drink for a toast –
The way they used their lies.

And we were singin’,
“Why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

We were singin’,
“Why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

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10 Comments

  1. Totally sweet, Wayne. I especially liked the line about can you teach me how to think real slow.

    This is one of your best.

    Comment by medjhiesco — July 12, 2009 @ 11:03 AM

  2. FANTASTIC, Wayne! My first time here, but I’ll be back.

    Love this part:

    And as the crimes piled high, no oversight,
    To spite the constitution’s might,
    I saw Newtie laughing with delight
    The way they used their lies.

    Comment by spencersmom — July 12, 2009 @ 2:40 PM

  3. Love it!

    Comment by Zooey — July 12, 2009 @ 3:12 PM

  4. This is really good. Wayne and Jane are quite the team!

    This is the part that I liked best:
    Oh, and while the king was playing clown,
    The soldiers laid dead on the ground.
    The torture was designed,
    No effect would be kind.

    Comment by Cats r Flyfishn — July 12, 2009 @ 4:26 PM

  5. Thanks, Cats! Although he usually credits me for my help on any song, this time I suggested a change in one line, which, Wayne said, took the song in a somewhat different direction from what he had initially intended. I’m glad that people seem to approve of the result.

    Comment by Jane E. Schneider — July 12, 2009 @ 4:36 PM

  6. Wayne, this is my all-time favorite song. You did a great job with these lirics!

    My favorite:
    And knocking some out on their ass.
    The leaders tried for an Ethics pass,
    With molesters in the foreground of the cast.

    Comment by krystalviews — July 12, 2009 @ 5:09 PM

  7. Thank you, everyone. I’m enjoying hearing everybody talk about their favorite parts. I try to connect to a lot of things, and hope it works. 🙂

    Comment by Wayne A. Schneider — July 12, 2009 @ 5:15 PM

  8. Hocus pocus, in another focus,
    Their virtues formed their moral locus.
    Set real high but falling fast
    And knocking some out on their ass.
    The leaders tried for an Ethics pass,
    With molesters in the foreground of the cast.

    very funny wayne – that was great!
    keep it up!

    Comment by anthony — July 14, 2009 @ 9:10 AM

  9. Loved it Wayne! One of your best for sure. I loved this part:
    So run on: “Facts” are nimble, “Facts” are slick!
    “Facts” flashed flat on a screen are quick
    ‘Cause liars are the talk show’s only friends.

    Right on the money! 😀

    Comment by nwmuse — July 14, 2009 @ 10:10 AM

  10. Ah, so I have been here before! Still love this piece of work, Wayne, and I do hope someone picks it up and records it for all to enjoy!

    Comment by spencersmom — July 25, 2009 @ 3:38 PM


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