Pick Wayne's Brain

August 14, 2009

Conservative

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

Conservatives. What are you gonna do? You can’t reason with them, and you can’t take away their guns and shoot them with them. Not that I would want to. Shoot them with them. But you can’t reason with them. They just don’t operate from the same set of facts that we do. We liberals tend to believe that something is true because it can be proven to be true. But listening to today’s conservatives (of all stripes), it’s as if they believe something is true because enough people believe it to be true, regardless of whether or not it actually is true. And it is from this point of view that they debate things. Not from facts, but from beliefs. And it simply does not matter to them if whatever they believe is not actually true, as long as it supports the rest of their argument, they believe that their argument has merit. I admit that you can sometimes give them credit for following a proper chain of logic based on the propositions they put forth, but even then they sometimes veer from the strict discipline of logic and try to use their conclusion as their proof. But since their propositions are often wrong from the start, it makes no difference how reasonable they sound, they’re still wrong! (Or, if they’re right, it’s for the wrong reasons.) And so I wrote this song to them. I hope you like it.

Conservative
Original words and music “Conquistador” by Procol Harum, 1967
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Conservative, your argument’s in need of scrutiny
And with some devil’s talking points you speak of certainty
I see your litmus paper test
Has long since come to mean
That it’s your death wish face
Where there’s no eye for those unseen

Though I hoped for something in kind
I can see no meeting of minds

Conservative, a vulture sits upon your bended knee
And in your crusty babble now the hate has taken seed
And though your lie-infested claim
Has oft been thundered shrill
The facts have washed across your brain
And frozen from its chill

Though I hoped for something in kind
I can see no meeting of minds

Though I hoped for something in kind
I can see no meeting of minds

Conservative, don’t waste my time, I must pay no respects
And though I’m known to jeer at you, I leave with no regrets
And in the gloom you say will fall
You see there is no hope at all
And though you came with words held high
You did not conquer, only lie

Though I hoped for something in kind
I can see no meeting of minds

Though I hoped for something in kind
I can see no meeting of minds

Though I hoped for something in kind
I can see no meeting of minds

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