Pick Wayne's Brain

December 30, 2010

Against the Universe

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 8:10 PM

It’s getting bad at Fox News Channel. (Okay, maybe I should say “worse.”) It’s like they live in their own little universe and rant and rail against ours, the real one. Actual facts mean nothing to them. Take the recent blizzard in the Northeast. Those of us who understand how climate change (of which global warming is but one part) affects the climate could have told you this would happen, and that it will happen again. The people at Fox (in particular, Tucker Carlson, who may possibly be the stupidest man on television in addition to being the biggest dick), on the other hand, said the blizzard “proved” that global warming didn’t exist. As Strother Martin said in Cool Hand Luke, “What we have here is failure to communicate. Some men just can’t be reached.” But then they went ahead and created Fox News Channel anyway.

UPDATE: For a sampling of the kind of lies Fox News Channel has told over the years, check out this compilation of the lies they told in 2010. (Source: MediaMatters.org)

Against the Universe
Original words and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, 1968
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2010

Words are spewing out of mindless brains into a microphone
They differ while they pass, they spin away against the universe
Fools of sorrow they destroy the shifting few with open minds
Dissenting and resenting me
Kangaroo divas, oh
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world

Damages from spoken fright, which stand ignored despite a million lies
They tell them on and on against the universe
Facts surrender like a listless friend inside their heads at Fox
They stumble blindly as they make their case against the universe
Kangaroo divas, oh
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world

Boundless, dafter waves of lies they’re bringing to my open ears
Confusing and abusing me
Pitiless and lying ones I find around me talk a million tons
And falsely on and on against the universe
Kangaroo divas, oh
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world
Nothing’s gonna change their world

Kangaroo divas
Kangaroo divas
Kangaroo divas
Kangaroo divas

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4 Comments

  1. Biting commentary, Wayne.

    Well done, my friend. 🙂

    Comment by Zooey — December 30, 2010 @ 8:29 PM

  2. Thanks, Zooey.

    New motto for them:

    Fox News Channel – Even Our Name is a Lie

    Comment by Wayne A. Schneider — January 1, 2011 @ 6:53 AM

  3. Like “facts surrender”
    And fox hopes we surrender
    Accept the “new truth”

    Comment by CheeseFlap — January 11, 2011 @ 5:47 PM

  4. Wayne, I have admired your comments on TP so I thought I’d drop by for a spell. We think a bit alike. Here’s a parody I recently wrote in honor of our Creation Museum and soon-to-be Arkpark here in beautiful Kentucky.

    You say you want to teach evolution

    Well, not if you want to keep your hands

    You say that we belong in an institution

    Well, you better watch out for the Christian Taliban

    Cause if you go promoting the works of Charlie D

    Brother you can bet your ass you’ll answer to me

    Cause you know it’s gonna be our way

    Our way, our way, our way

    You say you can’t buy into Creation

    Well, we know

    It was God’s plan,

    You ask me for a justification

    Well, you know

    You can take it up with the Man

    And if you’ve got money for people who love to hate

    All I can tell you brother is you’ve got a date

    Cause don’t you know we’re right,

    All right, all right, all right

    You say we’ll change the Constitution

    Well, you know

    We’ll chop off your head

    You tell me that’s not very Christian

    Well, you know

    Maybe we’ll program your mind instead

    Because if you dare question our interpretation of Jesus Christ

    Brother we”ll put your nuts in a vice

    And don’t you know it’s gonna be real tight

    real tight, real tight, real tight

    With very deep apologies to the Beatles: We miss you, John. We miss you, George.

    Comment by Cletis — January 24, 2011 @ 9:03 AM


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