Pick Wayne's Brain

February 7, 2012

Bad Newt Rising

Well, we know that besides Callista, there’s at least one person smitten with Newt Gingrich, and that’s Sheldon Adelson, the multi-billionaire who’s been pouring money into a Super PAC that supports Newt. Early on in his book tour presidential run, Newt promised to run “a positive campaign.” But if you’ve listened to him lately, his old, nasty, vindictive self has been rising to the surface once again. This is the same guy who likes to throw the word “radical” at his opponents, not because it fits, but because it’s one of the “contrasting words” that Newt suggested GOP candidates use when talking about their opponents (see the GOPAC memo here), but who also proposed that they fire all but the “Master Janitor” in poor schools and pay the kids to keep their schools clean because it would teach them what earning a paycheck is like. Note that he didn’t propose this idea for rich kids going to school, who likely never saw a parent break a sweat at a job in their lives, only the poor kids. Oh, and proposing a colony on the Moon by the end of his second term isn’t radical? I can tell you why that would never work in one word: Water.

Bad Newt Rising
Original words and music by John Fogarty. Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2012

I see a bad Newt arising.
I see subtle all the way.
I see girth makes him fright’ning.
I see sad times today.

Don’t let him ‘round tonight,
Well he’s bound to change his wife,
There’s a bad Newt on the rise.

I hear he’s insane a-going.
I know his end is coming soon.
I fear he’s for over-throwing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

Don’t let him ‘round tonight,
Well he’s bound to change his wife,
There’s a bad Newt on the rise.

All right!

So Newt put his words together.
So Newt is quite prepared to lie.
Looks like his skin is pasty leather.
One guy is taken by this guy.

Well, don’t let him ‘round tonight,
Well he’s bound to change his wife,
There’s a bad Newt on the rise.
Don’t let him ‘round tonight,
Well he’s bound to change his wife,
There’s a bad Newt on the rise.

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7 Comments

  1. Wayne, I have the worst ear for music on earth but even I can sing this. Great job. Have you ever sent your parodies to some of these morning DJ’s who do them on their shows? Very, very good!

    Comment by Cletis — February 7, 2012 @ 9:53 PM

  2. I’ll never hear the original in pristine audio – your parody will be swirling around the grey matter!

    Thanks for posting, Wayne!

    Comment by Ebb — February 7, 2012 @ 10:12 PM

  3. Thank you, Cletis, for your very kind words. I would consider it, but it would have to be one of those stations that do political song parodies. I have a few non-political ones, but most of them are political in nature, or attack Fox News Channel for their lies and hypocrisies.

    Comment by Wayne A. Schneider — February 7, 2012 @ 10:12 PM

  4. Thank you, Ebb. I admit that is one of the desired effects of my parodies. When I get around to recording some of them (and it’s starting to look more like a “when” and less like an “if”), I hope people hum them in the voting booth and choose to not vote for Republicans. 🙂

    Comment by Wayne A. Schneider — February 7, 2012 @ 10:15 PM

  5. You’ve never heard this before: Love it!!

    Comment by Zooey — February 7, 2012 @ 10:20 PM

  6. Thanks, Zooey. As always, you’re too kind to me. 🙂

    Glad you enjoyed it.

    Comment by Wayne A. Schneider — February 7, 2012 @ 10:26 PM

  7. Funny, funny stuff.

    Comment by jurassicpork — February 12, 2012 @ 10:10 AM


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