Pick Wayne's Brain

March 23, 2013

Perchance to Dream

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:07 AM

As happens to everyone at one time or another (or several others, for some people), this hasn’t been a good week for me. I wasn’t feeling great last weekend, and as I headed into work this past Monday morning, I could tell I was only getting worse. I left work early on Monday in the hopes of getting some rest and staving off this cold, but, alas, not only did I awake Tuesday morning to several inches of snow on the last full day of Winter (thank you very much, Mr. Very Old Man Winter), but my cold had worsened and I needed to stay home for the day. So I did. I couldn’t have gotten much work done that day because I was sneezing or coughing violently approximately every other minute. I’m a serial sneezer. I don’t usually just sneeze once, I sneeze many times in a row. In fact, it’s very rare that I only sneeze once, and not that often that I only sneeze twice. For me, sneezing twice just means the next one has been delayed by up to three minutes. No, for me, a “lighter-than-usual” sneezing fit is only three sneezes. Typical is more like seven or eight sneezes, sometimes even going more than ten in a row. If you’re one of the unlucky ones, you know that sneezing fits can sometimes lead to physical injury, such as throwing your back out or possibly even fracturing a rib. On the other hand, there is the belief out there that if you try to suppress a sneeze, you could rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck, which could lead to death. Hmm, which would I rather suffer? A broken rib or back, or death? Let me get back to you on that one.

The next day I felt better in the sense that I wasn’t sneezing or coughing every other minute, but I felt worse in the sense that I could not think straight and sometimes found myself “blanking out.” After getting showered and dressed anyway in order to make a go of it, I drove down to the local deli to get my mother’s newspaper and decided that it would be safer for all concerned if I got myself back home and stayed in bed. So I did. After seeing Jane off to work, I went back to bed and slept for several hours. I woke up around 1:30 in the afternoon, watched a little “NCIS” (great show, BTW), then went back to bed for another four hours of sleep. I was up for a few hours after Jane got home, but then I turned in early again and slept some more. (I had to, as I could not stay home one more day without falling seriously behind in my work.) In all, I probably slept about 17 hours that day. And it did help. But then I had to return to work the next two days.

I’m still feeling some of the remnants of that cold, so I’m going to go back to bed and try to sleep as much as I can today, for I will probably have to go into the office tomorrow to catch up on some things that have to be done before Monday. So, please, enjoy your day without me. I’ll feel much better after I get some more sleep. Ah, sleep. To sleep perchance to dream. Maybe even dream of winning the Powerball Lottery drawing tonight, with an estimated jackpot of $320,000,000. By my rough calculations, when you take the cash value payoff – which is the cash value of the annuity they would buy to pay you the $320 million over a 25-year period – you get, after taxes, roughly 25% of the total jackpot prize. Roughly. Still, $80,000,000 would be nice to have. I’ve dreamed of winning the Lottery just so I could give an answer I’ve always wanted to hear someone tell reporters when they ask on what will they spend their winnings: “Hookers and blow.”

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