Pick Wayne's Brain

January 1, 2010

Coulter

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 6:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 01/30/07. I think it helps remind us how racists do not understand their own racism.

I’m a fan of David Brock’s Media Matters for America (I highly recommend it to fans of this blog.) Recently, I got a notice that Ann Coulter had done it again. This time, Sean Hannity had invited Ann Coulter onto his radio show to discuss Democratic Presidential candidates (which strikes me a little like Dr. Josef Mengele sitting down with Adolf Eichmann to discuss important contributions by Jewish people, but maybe that’s just me.) So, Coulter says this:

”When Gerald Ford died a few weeks ago, all of the coverage kept saying, you know, coyly suggesting that he was a mediocrity, that he had never passed any major legislation, never passed any major legislation — which, you know, on one hand, we’re Republicans; we don’t want them passing legislation, we want them repealing legislation — but leaving that point aside, I mean, everything they were saying to point out how little qualified Ford was as this accidental president is surely true, you know, tenfold in the case of Obama. And I do think it does show — it further confirms my point that Democrats are racist, and they’re just stunned to find a black man who can walk and talk. And, you know, not being a racist, I’m not really that impressed with a black man who can walk and talk. I knew that.”

So did we, asshole. And that was a very racist thing to say, by the way.

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July 25, 2009

Lying Man

I decided to move all my old song parodies from my original blog to this one. (Don’t bother going there to look, most of them are not visible now.) This was the very first one I posted. Since I also have a new Bill O’Reilly parody which will post a few minutes after I post this, I thought I’d post them together.

I dislike Bill O’Reilly a lot. I mean a whole lot. I believe the psychiatric measure of my dislike for him would be classified as “shitloads.” Why? Because he’s a liar. Plain and simple. He’s a liar, and not only is he a liar, he lies about his lying. I’m not the only one who feels that way. There are other websites devoted to a hatred of him and others devoted to pointing out all his lies. So it’s not just me. Instead, I show my dislike of him with this song parody, based on the song “Piano Man”, original words and music by Billy Joel. I hope you enjoy it.

UPDATE: I have a confession to make. There’s a line I wrote way back when that I was never really satisfied with. So I’ve finally decided to change it. Actually it’s just three little words, but it takes away a slight innacuracy that, for me, made the whole thing just a little less truthful than it otherwise would be. I have decided to change “best-selling novelist” to “real insane columnist”. Obviously, the line was referring to “Ann” who, if you’re trying to equate this to real life, was never really a novelist at all, but a columnist. And a crazy one at that. So, I hope that you’ll agree that this minor change, at the very least, does not take away from the song as a the whole, and maybe, just a little, makes it better. Thank you for your understanding, and please continue to enjoy “Lying Man”.

“Lying Man”
Original words and music “Piano man” by Billy Joel
New lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2006

It’s eight o’clock on a weekday
The regular viewers tune in
There’s a young man sitting next to me
Saying, “No war in Afghanistan.”

He said, “My father died nine-eleven,
But I don’t think that’s reason for war.
Yes, I’d rather have peace so let’s let the police
Be the ones who will settle the score.”

La-la-da-dee-dee-da
La-la-dee-dee-da-da-dumb

Spin us a lie, you’re the Lying Man
Spin us a lie tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for mendacity
And we know you work for the right

Now Paul at the Times is no friend of mine
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