Pick Wayne's Brain

October 5, 2013

This Week In Right Wing Nuttery

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:51 AM

The Right Wing’s detachment from Reality would be hilarious if it weren’t so dangerous to America. After all, some of these people inexplicably are elected Members of Congress or government, and others inexplicably are influential in the Conservative movement, even if they deny it. I’m baffled as to why anyone, including these people, would think their viewpoints merit attention.

First there’s self-appointed Tea Party Darling and Canadian-born gadfly Senator Rafael “Ted” Cruz. Senator Cruz (more…)

October 12, 2009

All The Dopey People

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 3:09 PM

Ever wonder why some people think the stupidest things? Maybe the people they’re listening to aren’t all that smart.

All The Dopey People
Original Words and Music “Eleanor Rigby”, by John Lennon, Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Ah, look at all the dopey people
Ah, look at all the dopey people

Billy O’Reilly
Spits out the lies from a search
Of the websites he’s been.
Lives in a dream

Works on the TV,
Wearing his hate that he keeps
In the heart of his core.
Who is it for?

All the dopey people,
Where do their views come from?
All the dopey people,
Where do they all go wrong?

Hannity’s Ego
Writing the words (more…)

July 25, 2009

Silly Petty Man

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:11 PM

And now, another song about Bill O’Reilly, who really is a silly, petty man.

Silly Petty Man
Words and music “Solitary Man” by Neil Diamond, 1966 Tallyrand Music, Inc. (ASCAP)
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Andrea was fine
‘Til the time
That I phoned her
Talking porn,
What was worn

Then Keith came along,
Said I’m wrong,
That’s what he thought
Keith and you,
But he lied, too

Don’t know if I’ll kill,
(more…)

Lying Man

I decided to move all my old song parodies from my original blog to this one. (Don’t bother going there to look, most of them are not visible now.) This was the very first one I posted. Since I also have a new Bill O’Reilly parody which will post a few minutes after I post this, I thought I’d post them together.

I dislike Bill O’Reilly a lot. I mean a whole lot. I believe the psychiatric measure of my dislike for him would be classified as “shitloads.” Why? Because he’s a liar. Plain and simple. He’s a liar, and not only is he a liar, he lies about his lying. I’m not the only one who feels that way. There are other websites devoted to a hatred of him and others devoted to pointing out all his lies. So it’s not just me. Instead, I show my dislike of him with this song parody, based on the song “Piano Man”, original words and music by Billy Joel. I hope you enjoy it.

UPDATE: I have a confession to make. There’s a line I wrote way back when that I was never really satisfied with. So I’ve finally decided to change it. Actually it’s just three little words, but it takes away a slight innacuracy that, for me, made the whole thing just a little less truthful than it otherwise would be. I have decided to change “best-selling novelist” to “real insane columnist”. Obviously, the line was referring to “Ann” who, if you’re trying to equate this to real life, was never really a novelist at all, but a columnist. And a crazy one at that. So, I hope that you’ll agree that this minor change, at the very least, does not take away from the song as a the whole, and maybe, just a little, makes it better. Thank you for your understanding, and please continue to enjoy “Lying Man”.

“Lying Man”
Original words and music “Piano man” by Billy Joel
New lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2006

It’s eight o’clock on a weekday
The regular viewers tune in
There’s a young man sitting next to me
Saying, “No war in Afghanistan.”

He said, “My father died nine-eleven,
But I don’t think that’s reason for war.
Yes, I’d rather have peace so let’s let the police
Be the ones who will settle the score.”

La-la-da-dee-dee-da
La-la-dee-dee-da-da-dumb

Spin us a lie, you’re the Lying Man
Spin us a lie tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for mendacity
And we know you work for the right

Now Paul at the Times is no friend of mine
(more…)

June 17, 2009

It’s the End of the Show As They Know It

The right wing is going nuts about the idea that Obama might want to bring back the Fairness Doctrine. They claim that it would destroy right wing radio. There are a lot of things wrong with this argument, but in the meantime, let’s make fun of them with the help of R.E.M. (whose lead singer happens to be openly gay, so that ought to tweak ’em a bit more.)

It’s the End of The Show As They Know It
Original Words and Music “It’s the End of the World As We Know It”
by Bill Berry, Michael Stipe, Mike Mills, Peter Buck 1987
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2009

That’s great it starts with a fruitcake,
Words of hate to entertain, Michael Weiner’s gone insane

Guy on the radio, listen to his head blow.
Words serve the right’s needs, dummies hear their own needs,
(more…)

April 10, 2009

Tea Bag Party

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:50 PM

Well, a whole bunch of people (or so we are told) will be out having their Tea Bag Parties on Wednesday, April 15th. Supposedly these folks are going to be protesting government spending, or taxes, or something they don’t like. No matter what they’re protesting about, it’s a good bet that almost everyone of them will be getting a tax cut under Obama’s new budget (though it’s hard to convince them of that.) Fox News Channel is planning threatening to cover the protests, so we’ll get to see the mixed bag of nuts that plan to attend.

Anyway, I wondered what attending one of those things would be like, and with the help of Rick Nelson’s “Garden Party”, it might go something like this…

Tea Bag Party
Original words and music “Garden Party”, by Rick Nelson, 1971
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

I went to a Tea Bag Party to demonstrate with my new friends
A chance to shout obscenities and raise our voice again
When I got to the Tea Bag Party, they all played the game
No one recognized me, I didn’t sound the same

But they’re so right wing, They honed their hatred well
You see, they can’t please anyone, so they got to please themselves

People came from miles around, cable news was there
Bill-O brought his goon squad, it was tragic ev’rywhere
‘N’ over in the corner, much to my surprise
(more…)

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