Pick Wayne's Brain

February 3, 2019

Republicans Lie

This post is being posted again in memory of the crash sixty years ago that inspired the original song upon which this one was based. I hope you enjoy and I hope you’ll share it if you do. Thank you.

I have to thank Jane for her fantastic help with some of the words. Her suggestions really made this a lot better and a lot easier to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you very much, and if you’re out there Don McLean™, I apologize. 🙂

UPDATE: At the very good suggestion of a poster at dkos (Fumie), I changed one word. “stay” to “pay”. I like it better. I hope you do, too. I am not in the habit of changing these things after I finally post them (except to correct typos.) 🙂

Republicans Lie
(Original words and music, “American Pie™” by Don McLean™,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that party use to show its guile.
And I knew if they had their chance,
That they would take an ugly stance
And maybe they’d be greedy for a while.

But Ronald Reagan made me shiver
With every falsehood he’d deliver.
Bad views for the nation,
I couldn’t fake elation.

I still remember how they cried
When they read about his widowed bride.
But something left them satisfied,
The way they used their lies.

So why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Do you hate the Book of Rules,
And would you make space for God in schools,
If the Bible tells you so?

August 12, 2009

Ruining America

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

Well, you know how I feel about “President” George Bush (spits on ground). As usual, a song came on the radio on the drive home, a line for a parody came to me, and the result is below. (Don’t worry. I waited until I got home to finish it. The second half, that is. The first part was done by the time I pulled into my driveway. Sorry.) It’s to the tune of Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America”, written by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson. I hope you enjoy it. (If nothing else, it gives you an excuse to dig up a great album and play it!)

As usual, and I’m sorry I forgot to mention it sooner, thank you, Jane, for your always-appreciated help.

Ruining America (A Song Parody)
Original music and lyrics “Breakfast in America” by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson, 1979
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Take a look at my president
He’s the only one I got
Not much of a president
He’s doesn’t seem to get a lot
Such a Dumbo, like his father
Ruining America
Like the folks in California
I’m hoping impeachment comes true
But there’s not a lot I can do

Could we have charges by breakfast

August 11, 2009

That’s The Way We Always Heard It Should Be

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 1/12/08

As if this surprises anyone, yet another song about the need for impeaching President Bush and Vice President Cheney. This is based on Carly Simon’s “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”. I hope you enjoy it.

That’s The Way We’ve Always Heard It Should Be
Original words and music, “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”, Carly Simon
Additional lyrics Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

The Chairman holds it back with no votes on
The resolution’s in the dark
We call his office, still
No reply, no remark
We e-mail to the Speaker’s Chambers where
The Speaker reads them, so it seems.
She says, “Not in your dreams.”
But she forgets we can dream.

But you say it’s time we move to impeachment
And raise the remedy that we have, you and me.
Now that’s the way we’ve always heard it should be,
We want impeachment. Impeach them.

That friend of Cheney has been pardoned now.
He keeps his houses and his lawns.

August 10, 2009

Stand With Me

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 01/10/08

As regular readers of my blog know (sorry I’ve been away so long), I have been imploring my Congressman John Hall (NY-19) to do everything he can to help bring about the impeachment of Vice President Dick Cheney. It’s not hard to see why that needs to be. Rep Dennis Kucinich introduced a privileged resolution to impeach the Vice President, and rather than face the truth and admit that the man needs to go as soon as possible (if for no other reason than that he can no longer be an irregular heartbeat away from the presidency), the House of Representatives voted to put it on the back burner with the heat kept low so it won’t simmer too quickly. Mr. Hall was among those who voted to do this. I would have preferred that he support Mr. Kucinich and move to get rid the Executive Branch of our government of Evil, but he didn’t, and now Evil still lurks in Washington. (Speaking of which, Cheney hasn’t been in the news much lately. Is that a good thing? Does that mean he’s managed to duck the media? Will he continue to do his evil behind closed doors, where only the occasional spider bears witness? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out the hard way.)

Here now, is another attempt to get the attention of my congressman and ask him to do whatever it takes to remove Mr. Cheney from office before more people die pursuing his feckless dreams. It is based on the hit song “Dance With Me” written by John and Johanna Hall, and performed by Orleans. I had the honor of hearing Mr. Hall perform this song solo at SUNY New Paltz at a pre-No Nukes Rally at Battery Park meeting. I was thrilled because I liked the song and it was among the first few times I ever watched an artist in person perform a song I had heard on the radio. I’ve always thought back on that experience fondly. I also enjoyed the other guest speakers that day and, while I do remember quite clearly who they were, I will not name them. (It might distract from the issue at hand.) Please enjoy the song, and feel free to sing the song quietly to yourself at work. Especially if you work in Washington, DC.

Stand With Me
Original words and music “Dance With Me” by John and Johanna Hall
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Stand with me
We need to stick together
Can’t you see?
The question is now whether
Rights are falling
So I am calling
Stand with me

Can never be forgiven
We’re not free
The way that we are living

August 4, 2009

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Why)

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 6/26/07

It’s hard to argue that George W. Bush doesn’t love war, considering how many opportunites he’s had to end it, and how eager he is to start another one. I imagine him sitting back wondering why the rest of the world doesn’t think he’s right. In fact, I imagine his idea of a wonderful world might be something like this little parody I wrote based on the hit song “Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much)”, by Sam Cooke. I hope you enjoy.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Why)
Original words and music “Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much)”, by Sam Cooke
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

Don’t know why it’s a mystery
Don’t know why it’s so hard to see
Don’t know why I should read a book
Don’t know why I can’t be a crook

But I do know that I love war
And I know what I could use it for
What a wonderful world this could be

Don’t know why there is diplomacy
Don’t know why they don’t bow to me

August 1, 2009

Once In My Lifetime

As they used to say on the classic TV series “I Love Lucy”, “George Bush got some ‘splainin’ to do!” (Those were the funniest episodes because everyone thought Ricky was crazy. Who the hell was George Bush? But I digress.) It just seems that so often, the truth doesn’t match what he claims it to be. (George Bush, that is, not Ricky Ricardo.) And though this isn’t true in every instance where his words contradict the facts, it is often because he has been lying (or misleading, or deliberately trying to make you believe something diametrically opposed to known facts, or whatever you want to call it. I like “lying”.)

Well, many who follow his exploits have noticed that some of these lies have resulted in violations of International Law (as well as Constitutional Law, but let’s leave that for another parody). Something about invading a country in a war of choice. No, for violations of International Law, it’s the World Court. So I wondered what would he think about all his lying once it put him on trial in the Hague.

And, as you sing this one to yourself, I think it would help a great deal if during the chorus, you hold your arms above your head and wave them and then bend at the waist and wave your arms downward, back and forth with each line. And when you get to the “Same as it ever was” part, hold your left arm out in front of you, bent at the elbow, and run your right hand from the crook of your elbow to the fingertips in a downward chopping motion. Get into the “feel” of the song. And if anyone catches you doing that, make sure you’re singing out loud and they’ll be sure to understand. Don’t be afraid to look foolish; it’s how we entertain each other. Admit it, it’s hard to resist doing that when you hear the original song, “Once In A Lifetime”.

Thank you, Jane. And, for the record, I have no idea what the political views or personal feelings toward our president are of Mr. Byrne, Mr. Eno, or the members of Talking Heads, who collaborated on the original 1980 song “Once in a Lifetime.” If this in any way offends them then two things: 1) I apologize; and, 2) How the hell did you ever find out about my blog?

Once In My Lifetime
Original Words and Music “Once in a Lifetime” by David Byrne, Brian Eno, and Talking Heads ©1980
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider ©2007

And he may find himself sitting in a witness chair
And he may find himself in another part of the world
And he may find himself before a judge in a large courtroom setting
And he may find himself in a horrible cell, with a horrible life
And he may ask himself, “Well…how did I get here?”

Living a life of lies, Sure was bound to bring me down

July 31, 2009


This song was originally posted on 01/14/07

It appears that the president may have already implemented his bold plan to do whatever it is he thinks he’s accomplishing in the Middle East. The fact that the only people supporting him (besides his wife and his dog, and no one has checked with them lately) are the people he hasn’t fired for disagreeing with him. True, the generals had been asking for more troops, but that was back when they thought it would do some good. They don’t think it will now. We have to stop this president, some how (legally). One thing that’s legal is folk protest songs. Here is “Escalation”, based on the Beatles song “Revolution”. I hope you enjoy it. And, to the best of my knowledge, the president has never used those strange words you’ll see below. I just thought they sounded like the kind of thing he would say, so I included them. You have to admit, you probably wouldn’t be surprised if you heard he really said them, would you?

UPDATE: The escalation of troops in Iraq that has commonly been called “The Surge” did not, as has been commonly thought, “work”.

Original words and music “Revolution” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, 1968
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

You say you want an escalation, well, you know,
You can’t go and change the world.
You tell us it’s an augmentation, well, you know,
You can’t just go and change the words.

July 30, 2009

Writless Wonderland

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 12/18/06

Well, the Military Commissions Act of 2006 has inspired me to write this song parody about it and the removal of habeas corpus protections. It’s to the tune of the well-known song “Winter Wonderland”. Enjoy, and don’t be afraid to go around singing this version instead of the more popular one.

Writless Wonderland
Original words and music “Winter Wonderland” by Dick Smith and Felix Bernard, 1934
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2006

With this bill that I’m signing
I will now be defining
The times I say, “No.
To court you can’t go.”
Welcome to our writless wonderland.

Gone away is the old right.
Here to stay is a new fight.

April 29, 2008

What Is It Going To Take, John Hall?

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:01 PM

I’ve told you every time I’ve met you, Congressman John Hall (D, NY-19), that I wanted you and the Democrats to put an end to the war in Iraq and to hold President Bush and Vice President Cheney accountable for their many, many, many, many (and very many more) violations both of law, and of their constitutional oaths to “faithfully execute the office” they were each about to enter. Neither of these men has done anything “faithfully” since they took office. I thought you understood that! You looked me in the eye and agreed with me that they were awful in their disregard for the law. And you dared to foist upon me your lame excuse, when we met again this past Saturday, about why our troops are still in Iraq and Bush and Cheney are still running around free. You actually tried to tell me that it was our fault, the voters, that you “couldn’t” do anything about Bush and Cheney, because we didn’t send enough of you Democrats to Congress. Well, John, that is bull-fucking-shit, and you know it! (more…)

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