Republicans Lie

This post is being posted again in memory of the crash sixty years ago that inspired the original song upon which this one was based. I hope you enjoy and I hope you’ll share it if you do. Thank you.

I have to thank Jane for her fantastic help with some of the words. Her suggestions really made this a lot better and a lot easier to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you very much, and if you’re out there Don McLean™, I apologize. 🙂

UPDATE: At the very good suggestion of a poster at dkos (Fumie), I changed one word. “stay” to “pay”. I like it better. I hope you do, too. I am not in the habit of changing these things after I finally post them (except to correct typos.) 🙂

Republicans Lie
(Original words and music, “American Pie™” by Don McLean™,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that party use to show its guile.
And I knew if they had their chance,
That they would take an ugly stance
And maybe they’d be greedy for a while.

But Ronald Reagan made me shiver
With every falsehood he’d deliver.
Bad views for the nation,
I couldn’t fake elation.

I still remember how they cried
When they read about his widowed bride.
But something left them satisfied,
The way they used their lies.

So why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Do you hate the Book of Rules,
And would you make space for God in schools,
If the Bible tells you so?

Taylor Swift and The Gettysburg Address

From the website “Learn the Address“:

To celebrate the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, documentarian Ken Burns, along with numerous partners, has launched a national effort to encourage everyone in America to video record themselves reading or reciting the speech.The collection of recordings housed on this site will continue to grow as more and more people are inspired by the power of history and take the challenge to LEARN THE ADDRESS.

The site features this mashup of all five living presidents and a slew of politicians and celebrities, including Taylor Swift, who ABC considered the most important of the celebs to be featured in the video. (Each recorded his or her own.)

At the site you are invited and encouraged to share your own Gettysburg Address reading. You can upload a YouTube video of yourself, then give them a link to it. If accepted, they’ll post it at their site along with the presidents, politicians, and celebrities already featured there. Here is the complete Gettysburg Address, which takes about two minutes to read

There Is No Fiscal Cliff

So what’s all this talk about a “fiscal cliff”? Who’s trying to scare us about what’s happening at the end of the year? Well, it turns out that the Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke, first described the coming combination of tax hikes and spending cuts as a “fiscal cliff.” He didn’t coin the term, but he was the first to apply it to what may happen. And there isn’t universal agreement that it’s the best way to describe it. There are many who prefer “fiscal slope.” I like “fiscal downshift.” Still moving forward, just a little bit slower.

Despite Republican denials, the stumbling block is clearly

Ruining America

Well, you know how I feel about “President” George Bush (spits on ground). As usual, a song came on the radio on the drive home, a line for a parody came to me, and the result is below. (Don’t worry. I waited until I got home to finish it. The second half, that is. The first part was done by the time I pulled into my driveway. Sorry.) It’s to the tune of Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America”, written by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson. I hope you enjoy it. (If nothing else, it gives you an excuse to dig up a great album and play it!)

As usual, and I’m sorry I forgot to mention it sooner, thank you, Jane, for your always-appreciated help.

Ruining America (A Song Parody)
Original music and lyrics “Breakfast in America” by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson, 1979
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Take a look at my president
He’s the only one I got
Not much of a president
He’s doesn’t seem to get a lot
Such a Dumbo, like his father
Ruining America
Like the folks in California
I’m hoping impeachment comes true
But there’s not a lot I can do

Could we have charges by breakfast

That’s The Way We Always Heard It Should Be

This song was originally posted on 1/12/08

As if this surprises anyone, yet another song about the need for impeaching President Bush and Vice President Cheney. This is based on Carly Simon’s “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”. I hope you enjoy it.

That’s The Way We’ve Always Heard It Should Be
Original words and music, “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”, Carly Simon
Additional lyrics Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

The Chairman holds it back with no votes on
The resolution’s in the dark
We call his office, still
No reply, no remark
We e-mail to the Speaker’s Chambers where
The Speaker reads them, so it seems.
She says, “Not in your dreams.”
But she forgets we can dream.

But you say it’s time we move to impeachment
And raise the remedy that we have, you and me.
Now that’s the way we’ve always heard it should be,
We want impeachment. Impeach them.

That friend of Cheney has been pardoned now.
He keeps his houses and his lawns.

Stand With Me

This song was originally posted on 01/10/08

As regular readers of my blog know (sorry I’ve been away so long), I have been imploring my Congressman John Hall (NY-19) to do everything he can to help bring about the impeachment of Vice President Dick Cheney. It’s not hard to see why that needs to be. Rep Dennis Kucinich introduced a privileged resolution to impeach the Vice President, and rather than face the truth and admit that the man needs to go as soon as possible (if for no other reason than that he can no longer be an irregular heartbeat away from the presidency), the House of Representatives voted to put it on the back burner with the heat kept low so it won’t simmer too quickly. Mr. Hall was among those who voted to do this. I would have preferred that he support Mr. Kucinich and move to get rid the Executive Branch of our government of Evil, but he didn’t, and now Evil still lurks in Washington. (Speaking of which, Cheney hasn’t been in the news much lately. Is that a good thing? Does that mean he’s managed to duck the media? Will he continue to do his evil behind closed doors, where only the occasional spider bears witness? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out the hard way.)

Here now, is another attempt to get the attention of my congressman and ask him to do whatever it takes to remove Mr. Cheney from office before more people die pursuing his feckless dreams. It is based on the hit song “Dance With Me” written by John and Johanna Hall, and performed by Orleans. I had the honor of hearing Mr. Hall perform this song solo at SUNY New Paltz at a pre-No Nukes Rally at Battery Park meeting. I was thrilled because I liked the song and it was among the first few times I ever watched an artist in person perform a song I had heard on the radio. I’ve always thought back on that experience fondly. I also enjoyed the other guest speakers that day and, while I do remember quite clearly who they were, I will not name them. (It might distract from the issue at hand.) Please enjoy the song, and feel free to sing the song quietly to yourself at work. Especially if you work in Washington, DC.

Stand With Me
Original words and music “Dance With Me” by John and Johanna Hall
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Stand with me
We need to stick together
Can’t you see?
The question is now whether
Rights are falling
So I am calling
Stand with me

Tyranny
Can never be forgiven
We’re not free
The way that we are living

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Why)

This song was originally posted on 6/26/07

It’s hard to argue that George W. Bush doesn’t love war, considering how many opportunites he’s had to end it, and how eager he is to start another one. I imagine him sitting back wondering why the rest of the world doesn’t think he’s right. In fact, I imagine his idea of a wonderful world might be something like this little parody I wrote based on the hit song “Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much)”, by Sam Cooke. I hope you enjoy.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Why)
Original words and music “Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much)”, by Sam Cooke
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

Don’t know why it’s a mystery
Don’t know why it’s so hard to see
Don’t know why I should read a book
Don’t know why I can’t be a crook

But I do know that I love war
And I know what I could use it for
What a wonderful world this could be

Don’t know why there is diplomacy
Don’t know why they don’t bow to me

Once In My Lifetime

As they used to say on the classic TV series “I Love Lucy”, “George Bush got some ‘splainin’ to do!” (Those were the funniest episodes because everyone thought Ricky was crazy. Who the hell was George Bush? But I digress.) It just seems that so often, the truth doesn’t match what he claims it to be. (George Bush, that is, not Ricky Ricardo.) And though this isn’t true in every instance where his words contradict the facts, it is often because he has been lying (or misleading, or deliberately trying to make you believe something diametrically opposed to known facts, or whatever you want to call it. I like “lying”.)

Well, many who follow his exploits have noticed that some of these lies have resulted in violations of International Law (as well as Constitutional Law, but let’s leave that for another parody). Something about invading a country in a war of choice. No, for violations of International Law, it’s the World Court. So I wondered what would he think about all his lying once it put him on trial in the Hague.

And, as you sing this one to yourself, I think it would help a great deal if during the chorus, you hold your arms above your head and wave them and then bend at the waist and wave your arms downward, back and forth with each line. And when you get to the “Same as it ever was” part, hold your left arm out in front of you, bent at the elbow, and run your right hand from the crook of your elbow to the fingertips in a downward chopping motion. Get into the “feel” of the song. And if anyone catches you doing that, make sure you’re singing out loud and they’ll be sure to understand. Don’t be afraid to look foolish; it’s how we entertain each other. Admit it, it’s hard to resist doing that when you hear the original song, “Once In A Lifetime”.

Thank you, Jane. And, for the record, I have no idea what the political views or personal feelings toward our president are of Mr. Byrne, Mr. Eno, or the members of Talking Heads, who collaborated on the original 1980 song “Once in a Lifetime.” If this in any way offends them then two things: 1) I apologize; and, 2) How the hell did you ever find out about my blog?

Once In My Lifetime
Original Words and Music “Once in a Lifetime” by David Byrne, Brian Eno, and Talking Heads ©1980
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider ©2007

And he may find himself sitting in a witness chair
And he may find himself in another part of the world
And he may find himself before a judge in a large courtroom setting
And he may find himself in a horrible cell, with a horrible life
And he may ask himself, “Well…how did I get here?”

Living a life of lies, Sure was bound to bring me down

Escalation

This song was originally posted on 01/14/07

It appears that the president may have already implemented his bold plan to do whatever it is he thinks he’s accomplishing in the Middle East. The fact that the only people supporting him (besides his wife and his dog, and no one has checked with them lately) are the people he hasn’t fired for disagreeing with him. True, the generals had been asking for more troops, but that was back when they thought it would do some good. They don’t think it will now. We have to stop this president, some how (legally). One thing that’s legal is folk protest songs. Here is “Escalation”, based on the Beatles song “Revolution”. I hope you enjoy it. And, to the best of my knowledge, the president has never used those strange words you’ll see below. I just thought they sounded like the kind of thing he would say, so I included them. You have to admit, you probably wouldn’t be surprised if you heard he really said them, would you?

UPDATE: The escalation of troops in Iraq that has commonly been called “The Surge” did not, as has been commonly thought, “work”.

Escalation
Original words and music “Revolution” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, 1968
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

You say you want an escalation, well, you know,
You can’t go and change the world.
You tell us it’s an augmentation, well, you know,
You can’t just go and change the words.

Writless Wonderland

This song was originally posted on 12/18/06

Well, the Military Commissions Act of 2006 has inspired me to write this song parody about it and the removal of habeas corpus protections. It’s to the tune of the well-known song “Winter Wonderland”. Enjoy, and don’t be afraid to go around singing this version instead of the more popular one.

Writless Wonderland
Original words and music “Winter Wonderland” by Dick Smith and Felix Bernard, 1934
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2006

With this bill that I’m signing
I will now be defining
The times I say, “No.
To court you can’t go.”
Welcome to our writless wonderland.

Gone away is the old right.
Here to stay is a new fight.

It’s the Torture, Stupid

Who cares what Speaker Nancy Pelosi knew and when she knew it? That isn’t the point. The point is what it is that she is accused of knowing – That the Bush Administration, in violation of both US Law and International Treaty, tortured people.

We Lock Up Governors, Why Not Presidents?

“…he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed,”

The United States Constitution, Article II, Section 3

I’ll be perfectly honest with you. I don’t know what to say. I was watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann, and I remember growing numb as I listened to what I was hearing. I’m still kind of numb, even as Rachel Maddow interviews Rep Adam Schiff about what we learned today, and I don’t know how to admit it, but I can’t quite remember exactly what it was that they say our former president, George W. Bush, the man who stood before the American people and said, “We do not torture!”, authorized be done in my name, in your name, in all our names, to the people we captured after September 11. I remember this: It was torture. And we did it.

I’m not going to tell you that I stood by our president the whole time and said, “Well, if he says we aren’t torturing anybody, then I take him at his word.” I’m not stupid. I’m not insane (by certain definitions). I’m not naive. At the time he stood before us and said those words, those four words far more nefarious than the sixteen words, I knew what kind of person was telling me that. A pathological liar. A sadistic man-boy. A spoiled child who was given everything he had in life, including his millions of dollars, and never once understood the concept of responsibility. A man who didn’t know how to admit a mistake, even when it was obvious to people less intelligent than he. A man who could not make the mental connection between the the things that he did and the events that resulted from them. Or between cause and effect in general. His mind simply does not operate from a factual basis. He makes decisions based on things that he believes, not necessarily things that are actually, provably, demonstrably, inconclusively true. He knows that torture is not legal. But he was told that what we were doing was not considered torture. And he believed that. So it was, as far as he was concerned, if he had any concern at all about the subject, true. And so he told us, “We do not torture.” Except that it was. And it was done in our name. It was torture. And we did it.

No, I knew immediately that when George W. Bush uttered the words, “We do not torture,” that we were, possibly at that very minute for all we knew, torturing people.

Too Much Crime On My Hands

Well, it won’t be long before George W. Bush is sitting at the inauguration of his successor, thinking about how much trouble he might be in. (Sorry I couldn’t find a video to post with this one; all the good ones were taken down by request.)

Too Much Crime On My Hands
Original Words and Music “Too Much Time On My Hands”, by Tommy Shaw
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Yeah, I’m sittin’ on this grandstand
Giving out the glad hand
Got the twelve o’clock noon blues
And I’ve given up hope
‘Cause I can’t really cope

Everybody’s Walkin’

As we approach the 1,000 hours-to-go mark in the Still Bush Administration (Dec 9, 2008, 8 PM EST, 5 PM PST – 1,000 hours to go), Bush must be looking around and watching people getting ready to leave. Here’s Harry Nilsson to help me describe it. I hope you enjoy the parody. I know you’ll enjoy the song.

Everybody’s Walkin’
Original Words and Music “Everybody’s Talkin'” by Harry Nilsson, 1969
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Everybody’s walkin’ on me
I don’t hear a word ‘bout stayin’
Only the voices in my mind

People start their packing

Blinded By The Right

Painful as it is to admit, we got duped.

Blinded By The Right
Original Words and Music “Blinded by The Light” by Bruce Springsteen, 1973
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Madman Georgie-Porgy and contractors in an orgy, well he ain’t no diplomat
On the outs with his bouts as the alcoholic doubts his way is where it’s at
With the story of his glory feelin’ kinda gory I skipped the Sunday-go-round
With this very unnerving curving and swerving the calamity crashed to the ground.
Some half-hot all-snot was talkin’ up the hot spot, pointin’ his fingers, joinin’ his man
And some Bush-bot mascot was tied into a legal knot with his what-not in his hand
And then poor Scott, put on the spot, falsely told a bunch of rot and boned our soldiers in the sand
And some bloodshot drunken sot whispers Pappy’s within earshot, save the buckshot, don’t play your hand

Yes, we were blinded by the right,
Oh, got juiced by a ruse, another rumor in the night

Scott of the Anti-Architect

Scott McClellan has finally published his tell-all book, “What Happened”. The reaction from the White House was, predictably, well-organized and “on message”. If you’ve been watching any of the coverage since McClellan’s first appearance on the Today Show, you know that the White House was both “puzzled” and “sad”. And, apparently, aliens have taken over Scott McClellan’s body because, almost to a person, they all said, “This is not the Scott I knew.” I’ve got news for them. It’s not the Scott we knew, either.

I do want to thank McClellan for, once and for for all, publicly revealing what we all knew, but which the White House refused to acknowledge that they knew, and that is

Casa Blanco

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Though I am heart, a rock and roll man, I have enjoyed a few famous country and western songs, and one of them has been Marty Robbins’ “El Paso.” It’s a nice little melody and I’ve always liked it. So, naturally, I decided to use it in a song parody. This one is, I have to say, pure fantasy. Unlike some of my other songs which are rooted in truth, this one is admittedly unfounded. It’s based on the rumors of an affair between President George Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. And of Bush’s documented inarticulation when trying to speak Spanish. (Yes, “Casa Blanca is the correct spelling, but do you think Bush would know that? Besides, I needed the “o” sound for some rhymes, so there!) I took the original ballad’s story and turned it into Bush’s frustration of being in love with two women, and not letting one of them find out. (Hint: one of them already knew about the wife.) And I have no idea in the world if George Bush ever owned a private plane. But I figured this nation’s tax dollars paid for his flight training, so he might as well get some use out of it. I happily confess that it is just totally silly, but I needed to get it out of my brain. Now it will be stuck in yours. No backsies! But please enjoy.

The first video I posted was no longer available, so I found this other one that has “El Paso” and a follow-up song Marty wrote about the song. I was not inspired to write a parody of this one. Not yet, anyway. 🙂

Casa Blanco
Original Words & Music “El Paso”, by Marty Robbins
New Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider ©2007

Out in the west Texas ranch Casa Blanco
I fell in love with an African girl.
August would find me in Crawford relaxing.
Aides would come in and Condeezza would whirl.

Blacker than night was the skin of Condeezza.
Wicked and evil, the kind I knew well.
My love was deep for this African doctor;
I was in love but in vain, I could tell.

One day a PDB memo came in
Told me bin Laden would strike.

Bush In a Bubble

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What will it take for Congress to do something about Bush? The constant bald-faced lies, about, quite literally, everything. The constant effort on the part of his administration to frighten the citizens of this country (and elsewhere), to intimidate those who object to their policies, and to hunt down and destroy anyone who dares tell the truth about what is really going on behind the scenes. The constant destruction of our country’s good name overseas due to a foreign policy of “Do what we say, or else.” And the constant deterioriation of our Constitution, the very framework for what makes our country so great not only in the eyes of the rest of the world, but historically as well. But if you think the Constitution means nothing to Bush and Cheney, imagine how little it means to the members of Congress who raised their hands and took an oath to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. They’ve stood by and let him do it all with impunity. Not only have they not done anything, but, collectively, they haven’t even tried. Their excuse is that we didn’t send enough Democrats to Congress to impeach Bush and Cheney, so they didn’t bother to try. They say they want to use Republican corruption as a campaign issue in ’08. This is a stupid and time-wasting ploy. They would have an even better campaign issue if they got every Republican in Congress to stand up say that what Bush and Cheney have done to our Constitution was far less of a threat than what Bill Clinton did. But no, they wouldn’t even try.

Here is a song called “Bush In a Bubble”, based on lead song of Paul Simon’s fantastic Graceland album, “The Boy in the Bubble”. I hope you enjoy it.

Bush In a Bubble
Based on “The Boy in the Bubble” by Paul Simon
Words by Paul Simon, Music by Paul Simon and Forere Motlobeloa
Additional Lyrics Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

It was a slow day and the truth was fleeting
To reporters on the side of the show
There was a bright lie, a shattering of principles
The boss at the TV station was tired of talk radio

These are the days of presidents who plunder
This is a long wake-up call
The way the media follows it is so slow
The way it looks to us all
The way we look to a tattered Constitution
That’s dying from accumulated lies
These are the days of presidents who plunder
But don’t try, Congress, don’t try, don’t try

Ruining America

Well, you know how I feel about “President” George Bush (spits on ground). As usual, a song came on the radio on the drive home, a line for a parody came to me, and the result is below. (Don’t worry. I waited until I got home to finish it. The second half, that is. The first part was done by the time I pulled into my driveway. Sorry.) It’s to the tune of Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America”, written by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson. I hope you enjoy it. (If nothing else, it gives you an excuse to dig up a great album and play it!)

As usual, thank you, Jane, for your always-appreciated help.

Ruining America (A Song Parody)
Original music and lyrics “Breakfast in America”
by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson, 1979
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Take a look at my president
He’s the only one I got
Not much of a president
He’s doesn’t seem to get a lot
Such a Dumbo, like his father
Ruining America
Like the folks in California
I’m hoping impeachment comes true
But there’s not a lot I can do

Joke Time: Kittens

George W. Bush and a secret service agent are taking a stroll when they come upon a little girl carrying a basket with a blanket over it. Curious, Bush asks the girl, “What’s in the basket?”

She replies, “New baby kittens,” and she opens the basket to show him.

“How nice,” says Bush. “What kind are they?”

The little girl says, “Republicans.”

Bush smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on.

Three weeks later, Bush is taking another stroll, this time with Karl Rove. They see the little girl again with the same basket.

Bush says, “Watch this, Karl — it’s really cute.”

They approach the little girl. Bush greets her and asks how the kittens are doing, and she says, “Fine.” Then, smirking, he nudges Rove with his elbow and asks the little girl, “And can you tell us what kind of kittens they are?”

She replies, “Democrats.”

Aghast, Bush says, “But three weeks ago you said they were Republicans!”

“I know,” she says. “But now their eyes are open.”

Joke Time: Future Handicapping

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, “I want to go to Disneyland.”

George said, “No problem. I’ll take you there on Air Force One”.

The second kid said, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan’s.”

George said, “I’ll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!”

The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!”

Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, “But you don’t look like you are handicapped.”

The kid says, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!”

Justice Calling

What is it going to take for Congress to begin realizing that this president, like his equally, if not more so, guilty vice president, doesn’t merely bend or break the law, he flat out flaunts it! It’s time to impeach them, try them, find them guilty without having to take time to order lunch, and remove them from office. Oh, and then turn them over to the The Hague.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this song based on “London Calling” by The Clash.

Justice Calling
Original Words and Music “London Calling” by Joe Strummer and Mick Jones, 1999
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Justice calling from the faraway towns
Before war is declared, they must be brought down
Justice calling from the entire world
Come out and get on board all you boys and girls
Justice calling now don’t look at us
All that phoney Neo-mania has bitten the dust
Justice calling see we ain’t got no pull
Sick of that cry of the “privilege” bull

The Clampdown is coming , the guns are aiming in
Protests expected and our rights are growing thin
Falsehoods keep coming and they rule by fear
Justice is calling and I want it delivered

Justice calling to the presidential drones