Pick Wayne's Brain

May 10, 2015

Glenn Beck Gets One Thing Right

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:36 PM

Glenn Beck, who can best be remembered from me opening this post with his name, has finally said something with which I completely agree: He has no credibility. After talking about (rush transcript) the Bubba Effect,

What I’m afraid of is the Bubba Effect. And I’ve talked about this for about six years. I said, there’s going to come a time when you’ll start to have riots on the streets. There’s going to come a time when you’ll have terrorists come and do something. And the — and the feds will come in or the government will come in, and they will try to quell it or they’ll try to arrest somebody. And the town will say, uh-uh. Nope! You, United States government, you knew about it. You’re part of the problem. And the Bubba Effect comes from the one idea that — a Muslim goes and shoots somebody. And then Bubba, who just doesn’t — is not really paying attention. Sees a Sikh some place who wears a turban. Not a Muslim, but he’s a Sikh. But Bubba sees him and is like, you people. And he’s all enraged and he shoots a Sikh. Now, what’s going to happen? The DOJ has to come in and try him for murder. But because that town just experienced some sort of, you know, 40 kids in an elementary school shot and they knew that the federal government kept the borders open and these guys came across the borders, they were here illegally, or they were from that mosque down the street that everybody knew was an extremist mosque, but they did nothing about it. That’s when the citizens grab their guns and say to the DOJ, get the hell out of here. What Bubba did was wrong, but we’ll take care of it. We don’t need you here.

While it can certainly be classified as a hate crime, the DOJ usually doesn’t need to step in and try Bubba for murder unless the state, who normally prosecutes homicides, fails to convict him. And let’s be real, Glenn, (more…)

January 4, 2015

The End Is Not Near

Conservatives who claim to be Christians spent last year proclaiming the end times were nigh upon us though the evidence clearly suggests otherwise. (We’re still here.) It’s both funny and sad. Funny because these folks seriously believe this nonsense, and sad because these folks seriously believe this nonsense. And it IS nonsense because it makes no sense whatsoever. There are at least five different things that prove to these folks that we are approaching the end times, and none of them have anything to do with each other, nor can they be linked in any coherent way. And what are the five things that give true believers an indication the world is coming to an end?

Start with the Obama Presidency. According to US Representative (more…)

October 4, 2014

This Week in Paranoia: The Humbling Gay Ebola Gun Grab Anarchy

Courtesy of the good people at Right Wing Watch, we learn what’s got the right wing’s knickers in a twist. From soldiers being sent to West Africa to deliberately contract Ebola (a US Congressman actually said this) to gays trying to recruit your sons (I don’t hear them expressing any concern about your daughters, just your sons) to Obama coming for your guns (again, and for discredited reasons, again) to anarchy over teaching actual American History (because we don’t want to whitesplain it) to America being humbled because of the devastation Ebola will cause (undoubtedly after all those US Soldiers come back with it), the right wing in this country is becoming more and more unhinged from reality. I’d like to know what they’d say about Ebola if they actually understood how it’s transmitted from person to person. I’d also like to know what they’d say if they understood any of the other things they went haywire over lately. BTW, here’s a simple way to tell if you have Ebola: (more…)

January 12, 2013

There’s Truth, and There’s What Some People Believe

We have a serious problem in America. Too many of our fellow countrymen believe things that are just plain demonstrably untrue. I’m not referring to religious beliefs, which presents its own set of misguided believers (did you know that over the past thirty years, Gallup polls have consistently shown that around 45% of Americans believe that God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so?), I’m talking simple facts. It sure surprised me to learn that about one in five Americans believes the Sun revolves around the Earth. I always thought that one was a “no-brainer” and I guess for those one in five, it’s true – they have no brain.

That’s not to say that intelligent people (more…)

September 20, 2012

My Favorite Example of Cognitive Dissonance

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 9:05 PM

Craig T. Nelson, an actor who can best be remembered from me having you read his name at the beginning of this sentence, was being interviewed by an apparently bored and disinterested Glenn Beck. He had this brilliant insight to offer to the political discourse: (more…)

January 19, 2010

Forever Dumb

These Tea Party people, whichever Tea Party they’re in, worry me. As I believe the medical community might put it, I don’t think they’re playing with a full deck. I understand that, at its core, the movement is supposed to be about how we’re taxed too much as it is. The funny thing is, they weren’t being taxed too much when these rallies started. (more…)

June 17, 2009

It’s the End of the Show As They Know It

The right wing is going nuts about the idea that Obama might want to bring back the Fairness Doctrine. They claim that it would destroy right wing radio. There are a lot of things wrong with this argument, but in the meantime, let’s make fun of them with the help of R.E.M. (whose lead singer happens to be openly gay, so that ought to tweak ’em a bit more.)

It’s the End of The Show As They Know It
Original Words and Music “It’s the End of the World As We Know It”
by Bill Berry, Michael Stipe, Mike Mills, Peter Buck 1987
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2009

That’s great it starts with a fruitcake,
Words of hate to entertain, Michael Weiner’s gone insane

Guy on the radio, listen to his head blow.
Words serve the right’s needs, dummies hear their own needs,
(more…)

April 10, 2009

Tea Bag Party

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:50 PM

Well, a whole bunch of people (or so we are told) will be out having their Tea Bag Parties on Wednesday, April 15th. Supposedly these folks are going to be protesting government spending, or taxes, or something they don’t like. No matter what they’re protesting about, it’s a good bet that almost everyone of them will be getting a tax cut under Obama’s new budget (though it’s hard to convince them of that.) Fox News Channel is planning threatening to cover the protests, so we’ll get to see the mixed bag of nuts that plan to attend.

Anyway, I wondered what attending one of those things would be like, and with the help of Rick Nelson’s “Garden Party”, it might go something like this…

Tea Bag Party
Original words and music “Garden Party”, by Rick Nelson, 1971
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

I went to a Tea Bag Party to demonstrate with my new friends
A chance to shout obscenities and raise our voice again
When I got to the Tea Bag Party, they all played the game
No one recognized me, I didn’t sound the same

But they’re so right wing, They honed their hatred well
You see, they can’t please anyone, so they got to please themselves

People came from miles around, cable news was there
Bill-O brought his goon squad, it was tragic ev’rywhere
‘N’ over in the corner, much to my surprise
(more…)

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