Pick Wayne's Brain

May 21, 2010

Another World

This is a message directed at Tony Hayward, CEO of British Petroleum, and to the rest of BP as well. We only have this one planet to live on. Try not to use it up before we can find another place to live. Thank you. It’s to the tune of “Another Girl” by the Beatles. (They give us such great material to work with.)

Another World
Original words and music “Another Girl” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

For we have not another world, another world…

You’re making me say that I trust nobody but you
But as from today well I just can’t say that it’s true
I ain’t no fool and I still say it’s all we got
For we have not another world, another world

It’s deeper than all the spills (more…)

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May 7, 2010

The Right Ignores

One of the challenges we on the Left have in debating some on the Right is the experience of debating someone who is not working within the same reality we are. It seems that no matter how correct we might be, some on the Right will just be willfully blind to the facts. Their ideology is the framework for their belief system, and it makes no difference to them that this framework does not match the truth. No matter how many experts you give them, no matter how strong a proof you can lay out, if it doesn’t match their pre-conceived notions, they will simply ignore it.

The Right Ignores
Original words and music “The Night Before” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

We hear all these guys (ah the Right ignores)
Proof was in our eyes (ah the Right ignores)
But to facts they’re blind
You can’t change their mind
(more…)

March 6, 2010

Mister Old and Careless Guy

I am not a fan of David Gregory on Meet the Press. I’ve watched, and I find that he seems more concerned with getting his list of questions in than he is with refuting the lies his guests tell. And the entire show’s format is part of the problem. The guests know they’re only going to be on for a limited amount of time, and if they stall long enough, or simply refuse to address the question being asked, the host will move on to another subject. And when the Republicans controlled both Houses of Congress and the White House, there were always more Republicans on the show than Democrats. Now that Democrats control both Houses of Congress and the White House, there are still more Republican guests than Democratic ones. Why? And who the hell cares what John McCain thinks about anything? He lost, Mr. Gregory. The country rejected his ideas. We don’t need to hear what he thinks because, well, for one thing, he can’t make up his mind what that is, and for another thing, he lost!. In fact, throughout the past year, you’ve let one Republican lie go by after another on the health care debate. I think you’re getting old and careless on the job, Mr. Gregory. And maybe the show has outlived its usefulness as a means of informing the public about the facts. And here’s America to help me say it another way.

Mister Old and Careless Guy
Original words and music “Sister Golden Hair” by Gerry Beckley 1975
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2010

Well I tried to watch it Sunday
But I got so damned distressed
That I told myself that one day
They should cancel “Meet the Press”

He ain’t steady (more…)

February 19, 2010

The Blogging Collection

This is a compilation of all the song parodies I wrote centered on the theme of blogging.

The problem of which I speak in the beginning is directly responsible for the creation of that wonderful blog, TheZoo, and I am grateful to the other Critters for inviting me to join them there.

I’ve noticed that ThinkProgress (affectionately known to us as “TP”) still has a problem with trolls. Trolls are people who jump into a topic and post false, misleading, deceptive or inflammatory remarks with the sole purpose of derailing the conversation so that we waste our time, and the site master’s bandwidth. They often have no rational basis for the things they say. They know that if they jump in and say something like, “Liberals are baby-killers,” they’ll get a reaction. They aren’t interested in discussing anything rationally. They’re just trying to piss us off. Unfortunately, they all too often succeed.

The ironic thing is that while they often accuse us of trying to suppress free speech, if you go to one of the more popular conservative websites (such as Redstate.org) and post something even the tiniest bit critical of Bush or Republicans in general, they ban you. (At least, that’s what some have said.) I guess the truth hurts.

So, my experiences since I returned to the blogosphere inspired me to write another song parody. This is to the tune of The Beatles’ “I’ve Just Seen a Face”. (Original words and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.) I wanted to have it finished by yesterday, but I couldn’t quite get it done. Consider it a belated birthday present to Sir (James) Paul McCartney, whose birthday was June 18th. I hope you enjoy it. As usual, thank you Jane for your help and advice.

I’ve Just Seen a Post
Original words and music “I’ve Just seen a face” by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

I’ve just seen a post I can’t resist
What he did boast and I insist
He check his facts for me,
And I want all the world to see
He lied.
Lie-lie-lie-la-la-lied.

Had he not been so absurd
(more…)

May 18, 2008

Casa Blanco

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:17 PM

add to del.icio.us : Add to Blinkslist : add to furl : add to ma.gnolia : Stumble It! : add to simpy : seed the vine : : : TailRank : post to facebook

Though I am heart, a rock and roll man, I have enjoyed a few famous country and western songs, and one of them has been Marty Robbins’ “El Paso.” It’s a nice little melody and I’ve always liked it. So, naturally, I decided to use it in a song parody. This one is, I have to say, pure fantasy. Unlike some of my other songs which are rooted in truth, this one is admittedly unfounded. It’s based on the rumors of an affair between President George Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. And of Bush’s documented inarticulation when trying to speak Spanish. (Yes, “Casa Blanca is the correct spelling, but do you think Bush would know that? Besides, I needed the “o” sound for some rhymes, so there!) I took the original ballad’s story and turned it into Bush’s frustration of being in love with two women, and not letting one of them find out. (Hint: one of them already knew about the wife.) And I have no idea in the world if George Bush ever owned a private plane. But I figured this nation’s tax dollars paid for his flight training, so he might as well get some use out of it. I happily confess that it is just totally silly, but I needed to get it out of my brain. Now it will be stuck in yours. No backsies! But please enjoy.


Casa Blanco
Original Words & Music “El Paso”, by Marty Robbins
New Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider ©2007

Out in the west Texas ranch Casa Blanco
I fell in love with an African girl.
August would find me in Crawford relaxing.
Aides would come in and Condeezza would whirl.

Blacker than night was the skin of Condeezza.
Wicked and evil, the kind I knew well.
My love was deep for this African doctor;
I was in love but in vain, I could tell.

One day a PDB memo came in
Told me bin Laden would strike.
(more…)

April 11, 2008

I Cross The Line

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 4:00 AM
Well, we all know Rush Limbaugh can be a real slimeball sometimes. I mean, what with the lying, and the distorting, and the racism stuff. And it’s not new with him. Early in his career, he went by the radio DJ name Jeff Christie. (Real “macho” name, eh?) And he was known to say controversial things, one of which I allude to in this song parody. (The link in the line is to a Snopes.com article confirming its veracity.) So, without further ado, another tribute to Rush Limbaugh, courtesy of Johnny Cash’s “I Walk The Line”, 1959.

I Cross The Line
Original Words and Music “I Walk The Line”, by Johnny Cash, 1959
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

I keep a close watch on this hate of mine
I keep my mouth wide open all the time
I keep the mike on for the lie that shines
Because I’m slime, I cross the line

I find it very, very easy to fool you
I find myself alone when each day is through
(more…)

April 6, 2008

Use Your Ass

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 6:45 PM
It’s the future. Sen Hillary Rodham Clinton has won the nomination of the Democratic Party. Well, she walked away with it, let’s say. But her problem is the people she has running her campaign. They’re the same-old-same-old, and they will lose this election for her if she doesn’t watch out. She needs to find a team that doesn’t resort to the kind of campaign tricks you see from the Republicans. Otherwise, her story could end up like this.

It’s set to the tune of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”. (Great song, by the way.) To help you follow the song, here is a link to a YouTube video in which someone has captioned the song juxtaposed with a series of sometimes comical pictures. Much hilarity ensues. (No, seriously, it’s actually pretty cool and if you’re not familiar with the song – it did win an Academy Award ™ – then this video really helps to follow it. As a suggestion, open a second browser for the video, and resize the two windows so that you can watch the video and follow the lyrics. If you don’t know how to do all that, then please enjoy the lyrics and put on a CD.)

And, as usual, I have to thank Jane for her help with this.
You can see a video of the song here

Use Your Ass
Original Music and Lyrics, “Lose Yourself”, by Marshall Mathers
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

spoken
Look,
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To be president of the U.S.
One moment
Would you capture it,
Or just let it slip?

music
Yo, her plans are ready,
Themes tweaked, coffers heavy
There’s paper on her sweater already, more confetti,
She’s laughing, but to the staffing
She looks cool and steady
To stomp John, but she keep’s on forgetting
(more…)

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