It’s about you-know-who.
Don’t Tell Me Lies
Based on “Don’t Ask Me Why” by Billy Joel
Original lyrics and music by Billy Joel
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2018
All the hate that’s in your grand display
Leads your senses when you think
Everyone you hate most everyday
Every skunk must have his stink
Don’t make up answers
Don’t fake your chances
Don’t tell me lies
All your life you never stood in line
‘Til you’re standing in defeat
(more…)
Here’s Nirvana to tell you why Trump is dangerous.
Smells Like Trump Spirit
Based on “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana
Original lyrics and music by Chris Novoselic, David Grohl, and Kurt Cobain ©1991 Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider ©2018
They all got guns, warn your friends
They always lose but still pretend
He’s overboard and self-adored
You know he’s just a dirty whore
He’ll go so low, who knows how low
He’ll go so low, who knows how low
He’ll go so low, who knows how low
He’ll go so low, who knows
By now everybody should know that Donald Trump, Jr., met with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya to discuss the lifting the economic sanctions imposed on Russian banks and oligarchs by then-current-President Barack Obama for interfering with our elections, which everybody also knows they did. Except, apparently, the now-current-President Donald J. Trump, who says that when Putin said he didn’t interfere with our elections, he believed Putin believed what he said. Trump forgot what Putin used to do for a living before maneuvering to become Russian Dictator For Life. (Do you think he ever intends to spend another day not in complete control of his fate?) Now, Junior claims the meeting was about Russian adoptions, but don’t believe that for a moment. In retaliation for the sanctions, Putin banned Americans from adopting Russian babies. So the Russian Lass was there to discuss Putin’s lifting of the adoption ban if Trump would lift the economic sanctions. And Junior’s own emails reveal that the meeting was set up on the premise that the Russians (who, he was told, were working to help Trump get elected) had damaging information on Hillary Clinton. Though Trump claims he knew nothing about the content of that meeting (or that it was happening in the very building in which he sat), within days he was on the campaign trail encouraging the Russians to find Hillary’s missing emails. And Special Counsel Robert Mueller knows all of this, and more.
Oh, BTW, for those who believe the investigation into the Russian interference in our elections began with the “bogus Steele Dossier,” let me enlighten you to a few facts. The FBI knew what the Russians were up to long before Christopher Steele gave them his report because the Dutch, who had been spying on the Russians and literally watched them hack into the DNC’s servers, told them so. Then there was Trump Foreign Policy Team member George Papadopoulos who told an Australian diplomat the Russians had dirt on Hillary Clinton. This was before well-respected British former spy Christopher Steele came to the FBI with information he independently uncovered showing the Russians were trying to influence our elections, and the Trump campaign team was involved somehow. And despite Trump’s official claims that there was “no collusion” between his campaign team and Russia, the FBI recorded NSA Director-nominee Michael Flynn (who was fired by Obama for being untrustworthy, which he warned Trump about when they met) talking to Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak about lifting the sanctions. Before they were in office. Which is highly illegal. So Trump is lying. It’s impossible to actually believe he knew nothing about what was discussed at a meeting with Junior, son-in-law Jared Jushner, and campaign manager Paul Manafort (who was hired for his connections to Russia, as were many of the people in Trump’s campaign, as well as his involvement with money laundering with Donald Trump, and who is cooperating with Mueller.) Why would Junior not tell him about it, even if to say the Russians couldn’t deliver what they promised, even though they were already doing it? And why would Trump start encouraging the Russians to keep hacking if he didn’t know they were doing it? When Trump claims, “There was no collusion, no collusion,” there is video of him colluding with the Russians. Trump is screwed. And not just from Mueller. New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman is investigating the Trump Organization’s involvement with all those Russian mobsters buying up Trump properties at ridiculously high prices. And Trump has no authority to pardon anyone for violating New York State laws. If Trump tries to fire Mueller, look for Schneiderman to announce charges against Kushner. Jared owes a bank over a billion dollars, and the note is due soon.
Now that you have some of the background, please enjoy this parody of Styx’ “Renegade.”
Russian Lass
Based on “Renegade” by Styx
Original words and music by Tommy Shaw, © 1978
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, © 2018
Oh, Donald, I’m in fear for our lives from the long harm that you’ve brought
Lawman has put an end to your conning and you’re so far from alone
Oh Donald I can hear you lyin’, you’re so scared and not alone
Dang, Man, it’s comin’ down to the wire and you don’t have very long
The jig is up, the news is out
You’re totally guilty
The Russian lass with dirt to pass
Deceived for her country
(more…)
I thought I was through with these silly things, but this one was aching to get out. You know who it’s about.
Everybody Taunts You
Original words and music “Everybody Wants You” by William H Squier, 1982
Additional lyrics by Wayne A Schneider, 2017
You think they’re coming for you every night
Such apprehension would call for you to tread light
This POTUS business, you think it’s a bore
It makes you restless, it’s something you can’t do much more
Get outta town, spend our dime on your fun
You never let up, say you’ll make one more run
You never miss a round and you’ve played quite a few (more…)
By now you should know who this is about. Enjoy.
Nefarious/Let The Fun Times In
Original words and music “Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In” by Galt Mac Dermot, James Rado, Gerome Ragn, 1969
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2017
When the loon is in the POTUS House
And stupid are his lies
Then he denies he plans it
And loves to fear his spies
This is the dawning of the age of Nefarious
Age of Nefarious
Nefarious
Nefarious
(more…)
This is about Donald Trump, of course. I don’t think I’ve ever done a parody of a song that was released just a few days ago. I hope I didn’t ruin this really nice song for you, but if you like it, I hope you share it. Thanks.
Sign of Your Crimes
Original words and music “Sign of the Times” by Harry Styles, Tyler Johnson, Alex Salibian, Ryan Nasci, Mitch Rowland, and Jeff Bhasker (2017)
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider (2017)
Just stop your lying, it’s a sign of your crimes
Welcome to the final blow
Hope you’re wearing your jail clothes
You can’t bribe the court on the way to the trial
You look pretty screwed from here
‘Cause you ain’t really good
You never learn what’s been heretofore
Why are we always struck by hearing all
The bullshit? The bullshit?
You never learn what’s been heretofore
Why are we always stuck with hearing all
Your bullshit? The bullshit?
Just stop your lying, it’s a sign of your crimes
You gotta go away from there
You gotta go away from there
(more…)
I love Sir Paul McCartney, and I have nothing but the deepest admiration, awe, and respect for his musical genius and creativity, and I would never dare make a claim that I could do anything better than he when it came to music. But there is one rather small, almost insignificant complaint I have (other than the official lyrics of “Live and Let Die” where he sings “And if this ever-changing world in which we live in [sic],” which can easily be corrected by changing them to “And if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’,” and nobody would know the difference), and it’s that some of his most beautiful melodies are also his most saddest songs. Take “She’s Leaving Home.” Such a beautiful tune, and yet such a sad, sad song. “Cried For No One,” is another one. I love that tune and yet it’s hard to feel happy when singing it. And the third one, the one below, “Another Day,” is another great tune with such a sad story. One of my personal goals in all these years of writing song parodies was to take one of those sad Paul McCartney songs and turn it into a happy melody we could have fun singing. I hope I succeeded. And I hope I don’t offend my musical idol, Sir Paul McCartney, without whom a great many bass players would not know how to play, and I wouldn’t have been able to write parodies of “Lady Madonna,” “I’ve Just Seen A Face,” “Revolution,” (I’m sure he helped John out here and there) “Too Many People,” “Eleanor Rigby,” “Here, There, and Everywhere,” “The Night Before,” “Another Girl,” and the entire “Let It Be” album. Thank you, Sir Paul, and I hope you enjoy this one. Maybe you could sing it for us and give us an even happier tune to enjoy even more, even if it is true. 🙂
This is a typical day in the life of Donald J. Trump, so-called President Of The United States. Or as the acronym that’s most often used on the internet goes, (more…)
This is a work of fiction based on a work of fiction which, in turn, was based on another work of fiction. The characters are based on real people who may or may not behave the way they’re depicted here, but it would be fun to think they do. This is also a work of fantasy. The real procedures that would have to take place are different, but let’s allow a little license so we can have fun. Besides, I’m just trying to make my made-up story more closely match the made-up story upon which this is based, which tried to more-or-less match the made-up story on which it was based. You can just think of it as “fake news” right up until it really happens.
In researching the lyrics to the musical I found that several versions exist. This is from the one I grew up listening to and the one you want to go by. Its cover looks like this:
I hope you enjoy it and if you do, please share it with your friends through the various media available. Warning: Not suitable for work. Void where prohibited by law.
DONALD TRUMP TV STAR
A Rock Opera Parody
CAST, The singers in order of appearance
REINCE PRIEBUS........................................WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF
DONALD J. TRUMP............................POTUS, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
KELLYANNE CONWAY..........................................COUNSELOR TO THE POTUS
MICHAEL PENCE........................VPOTUS, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
MITCH McCONNELL...........................................SENATE MAJORITY LEADER
RUDY GIULIANI..........................................................NOSFERATU
JOHN ROBERTS..................................CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES
JARED KUSHNER.....................DONALD J. TRUMP'S CLOSE ADVISER and SON-IN-LAW
PAUL RYAN................................SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
RUTH BADER GINSBURG................................................NOTORIOUS RBG
Reince Priebus is worried. He's beginning to think his boss might possibly be out
of his mind. He talks to his dead father a lot, and he seems to think he's Jesus
Christ. Reince is concerned about the kind of message his governance is sending.
HATRED ON THEIR MINDS
Reince Priebus: My mind's in terror now--
At last all too well
I can see where we all soon will be
If you step away, the width of the plan
That you'll see's clearly all lunacy
Donald!
You've started to believe
The things you say you'll do
You really do believe
This kind of job's for you
And all the stuff you've done
You thought was swept away
Will begin to matter more
Than the things you say
Listen, Donald, I don't like what I see
All I ask is that you listen to me
And remember--
I've been a right-wing lad all along (more...)
In case it isn’t obvious by now, I think Donald J. Trump is more than just a bullshit artist, he’s a flat out liar.
Donny’s A Liar
Original words and music “Baby’s On Fire” by Brian Eno, 1973
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2017
Donny’s a liar
Never toes the line he ought to
Look at him laughing
Says he’d like to date his daughter
Donny’s a liar
And we’re all laughing at his bitching
Hating those photos
Oh, they spot his double chin thing
The people who voted for Donald Trump have no idea what trouble they’ve caused themselves. Trump never did anything for anybody that didn’t also help himself, even if it was just to stroke his amazingly fragile ego. His Trump Tower Headquarters on 5th Avenue in NYC has become a Mecca for favor seekers and mendacious speakers, including The Donald himself (as he is [dis]affectionately known in his home city.) This is a parody addressed to the ill-educated, short-sighted, bigoted white idiots who voted for Trump. I hope that the rest of you enjoy it at least as much as they’ll hate it.
How He’ll Screw Ya
(Original words and music “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen, 1984
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2016)
Now we know it was no secret chord
That Donald played and it pleased the horde
But you don’t really care for truth now, do ya?
It flows like piss, goes forth from 5th
The minor lies, the major grift
The awful king exposing how he’ll screw ya
How he’ll screw ya, How he’ll screw ya
How he’ll screw ya, How he’ll screw ya
His facts were (more…)
In his series “The Resistance” (formerly known as “The Closer” until the election of Donald J. Trump), Keith Olbermann spells out how Republicans in Congress can remove Trump from office without going through the process of an impeachment. And it’s all perfectly legal and constitutional, because the procedure is spelled out in Article of Amendment 25, Section 4,of the US Constitution. It reads as follows:
4. Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.
Thereafter, when the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that no inability exists, he shall resume the powers and duties of his office unless the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive department or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit within four days to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shall decide the issue, assembling within forty eight hours for that purpose if not in session. If the Congress, within twenty one days after receipt of the latter written declaration, or, if Congress is not in session, within twenty one days after Congress is required to assemble, determines by two thirds vote of both Houses that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall continue to discharge the same as Acting President; otherwise, the President shall resume the powers and duties of his office.
So how would this work? Well, upon returning from the swearing-in ceremony, Vice President Pence and a majority of the heads of the cabinet departments (and it could be the ones still in office on January 20, or even the ones who act as heads of the departments should the heads all have resigned effective at noon that day) could write a letter to Speaker Paul Ryan and President Pro Tempore of the Senate Orrin Hatch (the President Pro Tem is the oldest serving member, not the Majority Leader) simply stating the Donald is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. They don’t have to give a reason. They don’t have to prove anything. No hearings. No nothing. Just a letter.
Now, of course, the Donald could fire back a letter within minutes (and I’d bet he’ll have such a letter pre-written, ready to go) saying no such inability exists. Within four days (in case there’s a holiday weekend in there), Pence and his department heads could fire back another letter (again, they should have this one written along with the first because it would be needed) saying the inability does still exist. Then the matter would go to the Congress. It would require a two-thirds vote of both the House of Representatives and the Senate to remove Trump from power permanently.
I can only hope the Republicans in Congress recognize the danger of having Trump be POTUS and take the legal, constitutional path to remove him from being able to do damage. He could keep the title, since I’m sure that’s all he really wanted out of it, but he wouldn’t have the authority to do anything. Not that I would be much happier in a Pence administration. Unlike Pence, I actually like women and want to see them have the autonomy over their bodies that men take for granted. That’s even less likely to happen under Pence than under Trump, but at least Pence knows something about governing. Trump does not. In fact, based on his comments on the campaign trail, I’m convinced Trump doesn’t understand how government works at all. He talked as if the POTUS had powers he doesn’t really have. In fact, at times it sounded like he thought a POTUS was a dictator, possibly because a lot of Republican citizens think he is. That’s just projection on their part.
And while it is perfectly constitutional to remove Trump from power (if not office) in this matter, it’s actually harder than impeaching him. Invoking Article 25, Section 4, requires two-thirds of both Houses to remove him. But to impeach him (for Treason, Bribery or other High Crimes and Misdemeanors) would require only a simple majority of votes in the House of Representatives. It would still require a two-thirds vote in the Senate to remove him. But you’d have to produce actual charges and conduct an actual trial for that process to work. And while Trump will be in violation of the Constitution at 12:01 PM EST on January 20, 2017, it will not be because of a crime. Instead, and possibly among other reasons, it will be because he had a group of foreign dignitaries come to his hotel in Washington, DC, and encouraged them to stay there when they visited the United States. In other words, he would personally profit from his job beyond what the Congress provides as compensation. (It’s called an Emolument, and its definition depends on what the Framers took the word to mean, not what it may have come to mean since.) Unless, of course, he lets them and their entire staffs stay there completely free of charge, including meals. Then he might argue that he’s not receiving any emoluments. But does anyone believe a man driven by the lust for money, who campaigned on a bigoted platform designed to make white people feel good about themselves, would let foreigners stay at his hotel completely free of charge? I don’t. And I wouldn’t believe a word Trump said about whether or not he was making any money on it. He’s a billionaire because he says he is. He’s the one deciding how much his properties are worth, not an independent auditor. There is very little that Trump says that can be taken at face value. And that’s one of many reasons why he should never be allowed to be POTUS. Also, he’s a bit of an asshole, but there’s no law against that. Otherwise I’d be in a lot of trouble, too. 🙂
This is a song parody suggested to me by an Alert Reader at The Zoo named houseofroberts. (Thanks, house.) It’s a parody of Sonny and Cher’s “The Beat Goes On,” and it’s about (insert favorite insult here) Donald J. Trump.
The Cheat Goes On
Original words and music, “The Beat Goes On” by Sonny Bono, 1967
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2016
The cheat goes on, the cheat goes on
Just keep sounding a victim to their brains
Donny, Donny, deke, Donny, Donny, dumb
Commodore was once the rage, uh-oh
Boastfully he turned a page, uh-oh
The branding crap’s the current thing, uh-oh
Tinyhander is their newborn king, uh-oh
And the cheat goes on, the cheat goes on
(more…)
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but Donald J. Trump is in every conceivable way unfit to hold any public office, let alone the most powerful one in the country. He has zero comprehension of what the role of President of the United States is and seems to think the POTUS does nothing but negotiate deals all day. He doesn’t understand how the Constitution fits into governing and thinks he can just jail reporters who publish things he doesn’t like, such as the truth about him. If he was a reclusive billionaire who tried to stay out of the public spotlight, one could make an argument that printing things harmful to his image might be considered defamatory. Might. But Trump was a public figure of his own choosing and promotion long before he decided to play a joke on the country and pretend to run for president. He’s not really serious about being president, and it shows in the way he panics when pressed by reporters for real answers to questions like, “Are you serious?” and “How exactly will you make that happen?” and “Are you aware that’s totally unconstitutional?” His narcissism won’t let him admit failure of any kind, and so he continues along this ill-chosen path. And millions of fools are right behind him, urging him on, which only makes the problem worse. A pathological lying narcissist won’t go away if you keep paying attention to him.
Only The Fools Like Trump
Original words and music, “Only The Good Die Young” by Billy Joel 1977
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2016
Come out my minions, don’t hesitate
You pathetic fools learn much too late (more…)
A Super PAC calling itself “Americans Against Insecure Billionaires with Tiny Hands” released this video asking if someone could be President with tiny hands.
The group originally wanted to call itself, “Trump Has Tiny Hands,” but were told by the FEC that they had to change it because the “committee does not appear to be an authorized committee of that candidate,’ and therefore cannot use his name in the PAC’s name. An understandable rule considering what people would do if they could. I know what I would do if I could. “Americans Against Donald Trump’s Bigotry, Racism, Misogyny, Homophobia, Xenophobia, Fraud, Mendacity, and General Sleaziness.” My first ad would feature, of course, kittens. I hope the group is able to get its ad spread around, and I encourage you to share this post to help that endeavor.
People like Donald Trump need to be (more…)
America is far from perfect. We have achieved many great things in our history, but it has been despite our flaws, not because of them. And among the worst of our flaws is this country’s history of racism and white supremacy. Yes, not just the racism but the white supremacy, too. We on the Left post many words decrying white supremacists, but we rarely admit our country has elected many white supremacists POTUS, and they weren’t all Conservatives and/or Republicans and at least a few were Progressives and/or Democrats. As a Liberal, that bothers me. I want what’s best for everyone, and the color of one’s skin does not determine whether one is a human being or not. But there are many people, white people in particular, who feel this is not so; they feel that one’s skin color DOES determine how human one is. And sadly, these people often get elected to public office, where they are able to put their racist viewpoints into law. A President Donald J. Trump would be such a racist president.
It’s bad enough that Trump lies, and lies, and lies, and (more…)
We on the Left often talk about low information voters more than they do on the Right, but that’s only because the Right depends on them so much to stay in power. Without the low information voter and the low effort thinkers, Republicans would never have been able to grab onto and retain the political power they currently enjoy and abuse, not only on the national level, but at the state level, too. An informed voter would never vote for a Republican unless that voter was a greedy, rich, selfish bastard who couldn’t care less about helping his or her fellow human beings who are in trouble (often due to Republican policies.) And face it. If you aren’t greedy, rich, or selfish, you really have no reason to vote for a member of a party that openly admits to doing things that help the super rich far more than they help you or anyone else you personally know. I mean, seriously, do rich people need more tax cuts? We are talking about taxing income beyond a ridiculously high point at which they’ll literally be bringing in (not necessarily earning) more money than they can possibly use in their life times or their grandchildren’s, so why do Republicans insist on lying and acting like taxing more of that income will take away all incentive to make money? That’s pure selfishness talking, not sound public policy. And if it’s sound public policy you want (more…)
If one were to believe the political poll results published by the scam artists, Donald J. Trump has a lot of support to be the presidential nominee of the Republican Party in 2016. I don’t. I’ve already talked before about why these things should be taken with a grain of salt. Besides the facts that neither the primary nor the general election is being held tomorrow (making the entire premise of many of these question meaningless,) people who make a living following these things say that the vast majority of voters don’t make up their minds until the final weeks before the vote. The only people answering these polls (which is about one out of the seven or eight folks they attempted to survey) have already put forth the minimal effort needed to reach their decisions and concluded that alleged billionaire real estate developer and reality show star Trump would be great for America. Even though he clearly won’t.
For one thing, he lies. One can immediately counter that all politicians lie, and that certainly has an element of truth to it. But Trump’s not a politician, he’s a narcissistic billionaire enjoying one of the biggest waves of popularity he’s ever personally experienced. Not that narcissism (more…)
In order for Governor Chris Christie’s plan to round up people who overstay their visas to work, he would have to invent time travel technology. And even though it’s impossible to know if time travel really has been invented if you’re not the one using it (if history has changed, so have all your memories), looking at his poll numbers it would appear he hasn’t yet. After all, if you started out doing poorly in your effort to become President, and you had the ability to travel back in time, wouldn’t you go back in time and change things so that you had the humongous lead in Republican polls and not some billionaire with an oversize ego and even worse ideas than yours? Actually I shouldn’t say Trump’s ideas are worse since he hasn’t explained how any of them could work except to say “Management.” But I digress. Anyway, without time travel, Christie’s plan to call in FedEx Chairman and CEO Fred Smith to help teach the government how to track people who have overstayed their visas can’t work. At least, not if (more…)
Pick Wayne's Brain 
Presidenting Is Hard
In an interview with Reuters, Donald J. Trump, the man who did not win by the largest electoral vote total for a Republican (even since Reagan), actually said, “This [being president] is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.” This may be because Trump did not know that the entire White House staff would have to be replaced when he took office. He learned this when he sat down with President Obama after winning the election. Apparently no one on his campaign staff knew that either, including his future Chief of Staff and RNC Chairman Reince Priebus.
So I want to send a great big “FUCK YOU!” to every American who voted for this ignorant, egomaniacal, narcissistic, xenophobic, misogynistic, white nationalist, dictator-loving shit stain on the fabric of our society. Read a fucking book!
(more…)
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