Pick Wayne's Brain

September 3, 2010

The Tea Party People

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 8:09 PM

This is about the Tea Party People, bless their pointy little heads. They just don’t seem to understand what it is they want. They want the government to stay out of health care (falsely believing we have the “best health care system in the world”, owing to a mistaken belief that individual achievements make an entire system great), but they don’t want their Medicare touched (which is a government-run health care system held in high esteem by these same people). They think they are taxed too high (hence, their “official” name is the “Taxed Enough Already” Party, T.E.A. Party), yet they are currently taxed (at the federal level) at the lowest rates of their lifetimes. Anyway, this is to the tune of Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week”. I hope you like it.

The Tea Party People
Original words and music “One Week” by Ed Robertson,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

They let one speak and he looked at me
Cocked his head toward his sign that said “I’m angry”
(more…)

July 13, 2010

Another Takes It Apart

I recently came across a very interesting article in the Boston Globe. Titled “How Facts Backfire”, it was about how the introduction of facts into a discussion not only fails to change the mind of the person who was wrong, but it actually makes them dig in and believe what they erroneously believe even more. Which would explain why I’ve had some difficulty getting through to people with whom I disagree politically. Anyway, to give you an idea of what it’s like, I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it. You should definitely enjoy the video, because the tune is quite catchy.

Another Takes It Apart
Original words and music “Another Nail For My Heart” by Chris Difford and Glenn Tillbrook
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

The case was made from out of his end
He did it all with a symptomatic trend
That was derangement

His mind was closed, he did not vote
He couldn’t be bothered, maybe this spoke
Of his estrangement

(more…)

July 8, 2010

Down in the Foxhole

I truly believe the trio on “Fox & Friends” are doing the nation a huge disservice. Oh, sure, they’re entertaining because they don’t know what they’re talking about. But they’re dangerous because they work hard to convince their audience that they do know what they’re talking about. And their audience (as far as the ones they’re intending to reach) are not the type inclined to do their own fact-checking. For that they rely on Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck. Luckily for us there’s Newshounds (motto: “We watch FOX so you don’t have to.”) So I wrote this parody about the dimwits (and by “dimwits”, I mean Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade, in case anyone thinks I’m being vague) on “Fox & Friends”. I hope you enjoy it. (And I thank you, Jane, for your help.)

Down in the Foxhole
Original words and music “Down on the Corner” by John Fogarty,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Early in the mornin’, just about breakfast time
Over on the Fox set, they’re startin’ with no minds
Three dips on the TV, tryin’ to stir you up
Rupert picks a theme out and they all begin to harp

Down in the Foxhole, out comes deceit
Gretchy and the Dumb Boys are spinnin’
Keep it simple, tap the heat

Brian hits the stupid, and people just got to smile
(more…)

July 3, 2010

Republican Girl

This could really be about any of them. Sarah Palin. Michelle Bachmann. Liz Cheney. Phyllis Schlafly. They’re all out there, so detached from reality. Maybe you can name some more. 🙂

As usual, thank you, Jane, for your help.

Republican Girl
Original words and music “American Girl” by Tom Petty
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Well, she was a Republican girl
Raised on premises
She couldn’t help thinkin’ that she
Was a little more Pro-Life than all else
After all it was a (more…)

May 21, 2010

Another World

This is a message directed at Tony Hayward, CEO of British Petroleum, and to the rest of BP as well. We only have this one planet to live on. Try not to use it up before we can find another place to live. Thank you. It’s to the tune of “Another Girl” by the Beatles. (They give us such great material to work with.)

Another World
Original words and music “Another Girl” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

For we have not another world, another world…

You’re making me say that I trust nobody but you
But as from today well I just can’t say that it’s true
I ain’t no fool and I still say it’s all we got
For we have not another world, another world

It’s deeper than all the spills (more…)

May 11, 2010

The John McCain Collection

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 7:22 PM

This is a compilation of all the song parodies I have written about John McCain. People consider him to be a hero because he survived several years as a P.O.W. I like Al Franken’s perspective. Long before Al became a Senator, he said to McCain, “Well you basically sat out the war.” McCain at least has enough of a sense of humor to recognize that as funny, and he did laugh. But his recent flip-flopping, such as denying he ever considered himself a maverick, have shown him to be a desperate man hoping to keep his job so he doesn’t have to go home to his $100,000,000 wife. Here, now, are the song parodies I’ve written about Senator John McCain (Maverick, AZ). (more…)

May 7, 2010

The Right Ignores

One of the challenges we on the Left have in debating some on the Right is the experience of debating someone who is not working within the same reality we are. It seems that no matter how correct we might be, some on the Right will just be willfully blind to the facts. Their ideology is the framework for their belief system, and it makes no difference to them that this framework does not match the truth. No matter how many experts you give them, no matter how strong a proof you can lay out, if it doesn’t match their pre-conceived notions, they will simply ignore it.

The Right Ignores
Original words and music “The Night Before” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

We hear all these guys (ah the Right ignores)
Proof was in our eyes (ah the Right ignores)
But to facts they’re blind
You can’t change their mind
(more…)

March 6, 2010

Mister Old and Careless Guy

I am not a fan of David Gregory on Meet the Press. I’ve watched, and I find that he seems more concerned with getting his list of questions in than he is with refuting the lies his guests tell. And the entire show’s format is part of the problem. The guests know they’re only going to be on for a limited amount of time, and if they stall long enough, or simply refuse to address the question being asked, the host will move on to another subject. And when the Republicans controlled both Houses of Congress and the White House, there were always more Republicans on the show than Democrats. Now that Democrats control both Houses of Congress and the White House, there are still more Republican guests than Democratic ones. Why? And who the hell cares what John McCain thinks about anything? He lost, Mr. Gregory. The country rejected his ideas. We don’t need to hear what he thinks because, well, for one thing, he can’t make up his mind what that is, and for another thing, he lost!. In fact, throughout the past year, you’ve let one Republican lie go by after another on the health care debate. I think you’re getting old and careless on the job, Mr. Gregory. And maybe the show has outlived its usefulness as a means of informing the public about the facts. And here’s America to help me say it another way.

Mister Old and Careless Guy
Original words and music “Sister Golden Hair” by Gerry Beckley 1975
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2010

Well I tried to watch it Sunday
But I got so damned distressed
That I told myself that one day
They should cancel “Meet the Press”

He ain’t steady (more…)

February 19, 2010

The Blogging Collection

This is a compilation of all the song parodies I wrote centered on the theme of blogging.

The problem of which I speak in the beginning is directly responsible for the creation of that wonderful blog, TheZoo, and I am grateful to the other Critters for inviting me to join them there.

I’ve noticed that ThinkProgress (affectionately known to us as “TP”) still has a problem with trolls. Trolls are people who jump into a topic and post false, misleading, deceptive or inflammatory remarks with the sole purpose of derailing the conversation so that we waste our time, and the site master’s bandwidth. They often have no rational basis for the things they say. They know that if they jump in and say something like, “Liberals are baby-killers,” they’ll get a reaction. They aren’t interested in discussing anything rationally. They’re just trying to piss us off. Unfortunately, they all too often succeed.

The ironic thing is that while they often accuse us of trying to suppress free speech, if you go to one of the more popular conservative websites (such as Redstate.org) and post something even the tiniest bit critical of Bush or Republicans in general, they ban you. (At least, that’s what some have said.) I guess the truth hurts.

So, my experiences since I returned to the blogosphere inspired me to write another song parody. This is to the tune of The Beatles’ “I’ve Just Seen a Face”. (Original words and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.) I wanted to have it finished by yesterday, but I couldn’t quite get it done. Consider it a belated birthday present to Sir (James) Paul McCartney, whose birthday was June 18th. I hope you enjoy it. As usual, thank you Jane for your help and advice.

I’ve Just Seen a Post
Original words and music “I’ve Just seen a face” by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

I’ve just seen a post I can’t resist
What he did boast and I insist
He check his facts for me,
And I want all the world to see
He lied.
Lie-lie-lie-la-la-lied.

Had he not been so absurd
(more…)

February 4, 2010

They Don’t Know

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:31 PM

I worry about those Glenn Beck fans who really do believe the inane things he says. They really don’t know.

They Don’t Know
Original words and music “Let It Snow” by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Oh, the people outside are frightened,
And their ire’s not enlightened.
(more…)

January 26, 2010

Unimpressive Impressions – Elmer Fudd

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:12 PM

People often ask me why I don’t just sing my own song parodies. Well, as I’ve said all along – I can’t really sing. Want proof? Observe. It’s okay to laugh, too. I know how silly I look and sound.

Told ya!

January 19, 2010

Forever Dumb

These Tea Party people, whichever Tea Party they’re in, worry me. As I believe the medical community might put it, I don’t think they’re playing with a full deck. I understand that, at its core, the movement is supposed to be about how we’re taxed too much as it is. The funny thing is, they weren’t being taxed too much when these rallies started. (more…)

January 1, 2010

Coulter

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 6:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 01/30/07. I think it helps remind us how racists do not understand their own racism.

I’m a fan of David Brock’s Media Matters for America (I highly recommend it to fans of this blog.) Recently, I got a notice that Ann Coulter had done it again. This time, Sean Hannity had invited Ann Coulter onto his radio show to discuss Democratic Presidential candidates (which strikes me a little like Dr. Josef Mengele sitting down with Adolf Eichmann to discuss important contributions by Jewish people, but maybe that’s just me.) So, Coulter says this:

”When Gerald Ford died a few weeks ago, all of the coverage kept saying, you know, coyly suggesting that he was a mediocrity, that he had never passed any major legislation, never passed any major legislation — which, you know, on one hand, we’re Republicans; we don’t want them passing legislation, we want them repealing legislation — but leaving that point aside, I mean, everything they were saying to point out how little qualified Ford was as this accidental president is surely true, you know, tenfold in the case of Obama. And I do think it does show — it further confirms my point that Democrats are racist, and they’re just stunned to find a black man who can walk and talk. And, you know, not being a racist, I’m not really that impressed with a black man who can walk and talk. I knew that.”

So did we, asshole. And that was a very racist thing to say, by the way.

(more…)

December 27, 2009

Along Comes Harry

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 2:26 AM

I really wish I knew where Harry Reid stands on things. He’s trying to get a bill passed, just not one that will do more good than harm.

Along Comes Harry
Original words and music “Along Comes Mary” by Terry Kirkma,
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Every time I think that I see Congress making progress something cautions me
And every now and then I spend my time In rhyme and verse and curse those faults I see
And then along comes Harry
(more…)

December 10, 2009

The Sarah Palin Collection

Does the sight of Sarah Palin on your TV machine make you nauseous? Why not do what I do? Just play one of these six Sarah Palin song parodies in your head. You’ll thank me later.

(I posted them with the commentary I had at the time, if any.) (more…)

November 24, 2009

Fear, Scare, and Play Unfair

Fear, Scare, and Play Unfair
Original words and music “Here, There, and Everywhere”, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

To lead a fettered life they need my mode to be fear…

Fear, making the case through the year
(more…)

October 16, 2009

Around To Shout

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 8:34 PM

A long, long time ago, in a college far, far away, I awkwardly sat in on one of my first dorm parties. The stereo was playing “Roundabout” by Yes. I didn’t know much about rock and roll, having grown up with parents who preferred country and western. The old country and western, with the twangy voices and such. Not today’s rock and roll-style country that the younger folks, and even some of the older folks, enjoy today. I knew I liked the song and said so to the guy next to me. He looked at me and said, “You’re normal.” Little did he know…

If I do say so myself, I prefer this version of the song to the original, because my lyrics make more sense. You can actually tell what the hell my song’s about. It’s about Fox News Channel, of course. I hope you enjoy it.

Around To Shout
Original words and music “Roundabout” by Jon Anderson, Steve Howe
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

They’ll be around to shout
The words will make you have your doubt
They spend the day this way
(more…)

October 12, 2009

All The Dopey People

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 3:09 PM

Ever wonder why some people think the stupidest things? Maybe the people they’re listening to aren’t all that smart.

All The Dopey People
Original Words and Music “Eleanor Rigby”, by John Lennon, Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Ah, look at all the dopey people
Ah, look at all the dopey people

Billy O’Reilly
Spits out the lies from a search
Of the websites he’s been.
Lives in a dream

Works on the TV,
Wearing his hate that he keeps
In the heart of his core.
Who is it for?

All the dopey people,
Where do their views come from?
All the dopey people,
Where do they all go wrong?

Hannity’s Ego
Writing the words (more…)

September 16, 2009

Yearn to Groan

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 9:43 PM

This one is about how I feel now whenever I see one of those right-wingers on the TV machine, saying the same line of crap that’s been disproven so many times before (or would be by the next morning.)

And I have to give a big Thank You to my beautiful honey, Jane, for a great suggestion for the title. Thank you, honey. I love you.

Enjoy the song. I included two videos on this one. The first is a version with the band singing it live, many years after it was a hit. Note the reaction of Jeff Lynne when they do the fast talking part. The second video below the lyrics appears to be a produced video, lip-synched, with some of the band members dancing around the set while playing their violins and bass fiddles. Kind of cool. I just hope they don’t get blocked two seconds after I post this. 🙂


Yearn to Groan
Original Words and Music "Turn to Stone" by Jeff Lynne
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

The talking heads are empty now
          The lies don’t work no more
And so the thoughts are way down low
          Churning, churning, churning
A crowd that knows it lost the fight 
          The a-holes of the hard right
Says anything that is a lie 
          To my Blue world

I yearn to groan when you are on, I yearn to groan
Yearn to groan, when you going off, I can’t look on

 (more...)

August 30, 2009

Give Us Single Payer

Give Us Single Payer
Original words and music “Living on a Prayer” by Jon Bon Jovi,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Once upon a time not so long ago:

Tommy loves his work as a doc.
Patients have all griped,
Insurance is not enough.
It’s tough.

(more…)

August 20, 2009

Too Many Sheeple

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:05 PM

Too Many Sheeple
Original words and music “Too Many People” by Paul McCartney, 1971
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Too many sheeple tuning into Fox
Too many teaching that a Peace can wait
Too many sheeple fooled into a box
Too many waiting for that Judgment Day

That was your first mistake
You took a lie they made and spoke it as true
(more…)

August 14, 2009

Conservative

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

Conservatives. What are you gonna do? You can’t reason with them, and you can’t take away their guns and shoot them with them. Not that I would want to. Shoot them with them. But you can’t reason with them. They just don’t operate from the same set of facts that we do. We liberals tend to believe that something is true because it can be proven to be true. But listening to today’s conservatives (of all stripes), it’s as if they believe something is true because enough people believe it to be true, regardless of whether or not it actually is true. And it is from this point of view that they debate things. Not from facts, but from beliefs. And it simply does not matter to them if whatever they believe is not actually true, as long as it supports the rest of their argument, they believe that their argument has merit. I admit that you can sometimes give them credit for following a proper chain of logic based on the propositions they put forth, but even then they sometimes veer from the strict discipline of logic and try to use their conclusion as their proof. But since their propositions are often wrong from the start, it makes no difference how reasonable they sound, they’re still wrong! (Or, if they’re right, it’s for the wrong reasons.) And so I wrote this song to them. I hope you like it.

Conservative
Original words and music “Conquistador” by Procol Harum, 1967
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009

Conservative, your argument’s in need of scrutiny
And with some devil’s talking points you speak of certainty
I see your litmus paper test
Has long since come to mean
(more…)

August 13, 2009

The Sex I’ve had

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

I certainly hope you didn’t think I was going to talk about my sex life, because that story could fill an index card using block lettering. Not much there. But there is someone whose sex life we can make fun of, and that’s my soon-to-be-former Governor Eliot “Ness” Spitzer. You might have heard he got himself into a little bit of trouble playing with the ladies, if you know what I mean. Expensive ones, too! If it turns out that if any state money was used, which do you think each New Yorker should get? A tax refund equal to their share of the amount misused, or an equivalent amount of time, at normal tax-paying-Joe rates, with the prostitute? That might be a tough choice for some. But I’m sure my lovely wife, Jane, with whom I have been living for twenty years this month since I got out of the Air Force, will give me proper guidance as to which answer I am allowed to choose. Aren’t you, Honey?

Anyway, here’s a silly thing I wrote about our Dear Governor’s little sexual problem. It’s to the tune of The Band’s “The Shape I’m In”, written by J.R. Robertson, © 1970 Canaan Music, Inc.

The Sex I’ve Had
Original words and music “The Shape I’m In” by J.R. Robertson, © 1970 Canaan Music, Inc.
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, © 2008

Go out wander, sex in the motel
Come downtown, have to tumble in a hotel
Oh, you don’t know the sex I’ve had

Has anybody seen my lady
If she finds out, it’ll drive her crazy
Oh, she don’t know the sex I’ve had

I’m gonna go down to the District
(more…)

August 12, 2009

Ruining America

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

Well, you know how I feel about “President” George Bush (spits on ground). As usual, a song came on the radio on the drive home, a line for a parody came to me, and the result is below. (Don’t worry. I waited until I got home to finish it. The second half, that is. The first part was done by the time I pulled into my driveway. Sorry.) It’s to the tune of Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America”, written by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson. I hope you enjoy it. (If nothing else, it gives you an excuse to dig up a great album and play it!)

As usual, and I’m sorry I forgot to mention it sooner, thank you, Jane, for your always-appreciated help.

Ruining America (A Song Parody)
Original music and lyrics “Breakfast in America” by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson, 1979
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Take a look at my president
He’s the only one I got
Not much of a president
He’s doesn’t seem to get a lot
Such a Dumbo, like his father
Ruining America
Like the folks in California
I’m hoping impeachment comes true
But there’s not a lot I can do

Could we have charges by breakfast
(more…)

August 11, 2009

That’s The Way We Always Heard It Should Be

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 1:00 AM

This song was originally posted on 1/12/08

As if this surprises anyone, yet another song about the need for impeaching President Bush and Vice President Cheney. This is based on Carly Simon’s “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”. I hope you enjoy it.

That’s The Way We’ve Always Heard It Should Be
Original words and music, “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”, Carly Simon
Additional lyrics Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

The Chairman holds it back with no votes on
The resolution’s in the dark
We call his office, still
No reply, no remark
We e-mail to the Speaker’s Chambers where
The Speaker reads them, so it seems.
She says, “Not in your dreams.”
But she forgets we can dream.

But you say it’s time we move to impeachment
And raise the remedy that we have, you and me.
Now that’s the way we’ve always heard it should be,
We want impeachment. Impeach them.

That friend of Cheney has been pardoned now.
He keeps his houses and his lawns.
(more…)

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