Faker Street (A Song Parody)

You may have heard that I’m not a big fan of Donald J. Trump. That may, in fact, be just about the nicest thing I’ve said about him over the past three years. I’ll have to watch that. The more you learn about him, the more you learn how insincere every single thing about him is.

He’s nowhere near as smart as he claims to be. That was obvious to many of us long before he stood in the pouring rain and claimed we had airports a hundred years before the first manned flight took place. He blamed that on the teleprompter going out in the rain, despite also saying that it didn’t matter that the teleprompter went out because he “knew the speech so well.” And before he said, “The kidney has a very special place in the heart. It’s an incredible thing.” That may have been a veiled reference to the First Lady’s “kidney surgery.” You may have noticed how much bigger her breasts are after that. (Your tax dollars at work.) And before he talked about having a “great brain” due to his “terrific genes” (because his uncle was an MIT Professor who really understood the power of “the nuclear.”) No, not only is he not MENSA material (I’m a former member), he’s not even sub-basement material. Don’t ask anybody who knows him today and who wants to stay in his good graces. They’ll all tell you he’s a financial genius, look at how much money he made (while ignoring the fact that he stiffs his vendors and workers, which he’s doing now as president to communities where he’s held rallies, including DC, to which he owes about $8 million; or the fact that he’s constantly had to renegotiate his bank loans he couldn’t repay because against the banks’ specific instructions, he sold junk bonds at stupidly high rates to finance the construction of his three casinos in the same town [where he would be competing against himself] and was unable to keep up with the interest payments on those bonds, which is how he managed to bankrupt three casinos; or that he would have made a lot more money if he had invested his inheritance in the S&P 500 and left it there, instead of spending it the way he did.) Ask the people who remember him from long ago, people who owe him nothing and who need nothing from him. They’ll tell you on which side of the bell curve the real Donald J. Trump’s IQ rings. (Hint: Not above 100. Maybe above 80. Maybe.)

He’s nowhere near as rich as he claims to be. That’s obvious from
reports of his manipulation of the values of his properties depending on whether he was trying to be approved for a loan to buy an NFL team none of us in New York would’ve wanted him to own, or the age-old tax evasion scheme of saying your debts outweigh your credits because your properties are worth so little as of the moment you decided they needed to be in order for you to claim you lost more than one billion dollars over the course of a decade. And while fraud of some kind was your intent all along, the flaw in the current system is that it lets people in the real estate business decide the value of their own properties, as opposed to an independent assessor, like a public one. Still, he’s worth, at best, about 3/4 of a billion dollars, not the billions he claims. Dozens of businesses bearing his name have failed, in part due to just being associated with him even though that was the reason for their existence, and many establishments around the world have removed, or will be removing, his name from their buildings due to the toxicity of being connected to him in any way.

He’s nowhere near as innocent as he claims to be. That will be obvious when the reports of deep, personal connections to child rapist Jeffrey Epstein. You may have noticed I didn’t use the word “alleged.” He did it. Period. And Donald was there some of the times that he did. And Jeffrey wasn’t there all of the times Donald did. I believe both their accusers. The truth will come out, and everything unconstitutional he’s done since he took, I mean, stole office will pale in comparison. “Believe me.” He’s shown he has absolutely no respect for the law, even going so far as to say the Supreme Court was wrong and that he’s going to find a way to add the citizenship question to the Census anyway, which would violate the Constitution, or just “instruct” (he can’t) the states to consider citizenship when drawing congressional districts, which would also violate the Constitution.

He’s nowhere near as loyal to his country as he claims to be. That’s obvious from the totality of his actions regarding other world leaders. He’s had at least five, perhaps six, face-to-face meetings with Russian President/Dictator-for-Life (Yours) Vladimir Putin, and has not once told anyone in our Intelligence Community the content of any of those discussions. He even barred one translator from revealing to anyone what was discussed and took away her notes. (That may have violated a federal records keeping law.) His foreign policy actions would read like a dream list of Putin’s lifetime goals: the disintegration of NATO; the destruction of American influence on the world stage; the endorsement of the most brutal of dictators, many worse than Putin, making Putin’s crimes seem less severe by comparison (Putin doesn’t feed people to ravenously hungry dogs, he just poisons them slowly); among other things I could name if I was in the mood to put such a list together. You get the idea, even if Donald doesn’t.

In short, he’s a Faker. He doesn’t know how to do his job because he never understood how it was supposed to be done (legally). He has no positive qualities, only negative quantities. He’s told more lies in public, and told aides to tell more lies, just since taking office, than any POTUS in history. He’s left hundreds of key positions in our government vacant (including Cabinet Secretaries and Ambassadors to allied nations.) When the rest of the world sends Defense Ministers and Ambassadors to world summits, we send guys in pimples and paper hats. And many of the people he does have in charge are woefully unfit, in addition to being painfully unqualified, for the jobs they’re temporarily holding. His problem is his inability to find people that can be as cruel as he wants them to be, or who are willing to carry out his many illegal commands. But before he finds suitable replacements, he fires the few qualified people he does have. This country is in serious danger because of Donald J. Trump. He doesn’t take his responsibilities or his oath of office seriously. He needs to removed from office at once.

In the meantime, please enjoy this parody of “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty. And if you do, please consider sharing it or even leaving a comment. Thanks.

Faker Street
Based on “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty
Original Words and Music by Gerald Rafferty, 1978
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2019

Lying away down on Faker Street
Fight in your head and set on deceit
Well, another crazy day
You’ll think The Right a way
To deflect about everything

This city culture makes you feel so bold
You hurt so many people, ‘cause you got no soul
Why’s it taken you so long
To find out you were wrong
What you thought about everything

We knew you’d think that it was so easy
We knew you’d say that it was so easy
But you’re lying, you’re crying now

You sow more fear and then you’ll be happy
Just sow more fear and then you’ll be happy
But you’re trying, you’re frying out

Way down in Hell there’s a blight on your place
We open the door, you got that puss on your face
And you ask us if we’ve seen
You tell us on the screen
Not to talk about anything

You’ve got this dream about fighting Iran
You’re gonna back up the Jews and the One State Plan
And then you’ll skulk around
With some biased little crowd
And destroy about everything

But we know you’ll always keep lying
We know you’re never gonna stop lying
‘Cause you’re trolling, you’re the trolling clown
And when we wake up, it’s a new morning
Your ass in prison, there’ll be no mourning
‘Cause you’re going, you’re going down