Pick Wayne's Brain

September 27, 2008

Palin Clown

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 7:21 PM

Palin Clown
Original words and music “Allentown” by Billy Joel
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Well they’re giving us this Palin clown
And they’re closing all the reasoning down
(more…)

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September 22, 2008

The Ignorant Song

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 6:16 PM



The Ignorant Song
Original words and music “The Immigrant Song”, by Jimmy Page, Robert Plant
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008


Ah-ah
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the oil does flow
(more…)

I’ve Just Seen a Post

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 5:00 PM

This post was originally written and posted on another blog on June 19, 2007. The problem of which I speak in the beginning is directly responsible for the creation of this wonderful blog, and I am grateful to the other Critters for inviting me to join them here.

I’ve noticed that ThinkProgress (affectionately known to us as “TP”) still has a problem with trolls. Trolls are people who jump into a topic and post false, misleading, deceptive or inflammatory remarks with the sole purpose of derailing the conversation so that we waste our time, and the site master’s bandwidth. They often have no rational basis for the things they say. They know that if they jump in and say something like, “Liberals are baby-killers,” they’ll get a reaction. They aren’t interested in discussing anything rationally. They’re just trying to piss us off. Unfortunately, they all too often succeed.

The ironic thing is that while they often accuse us of trying to suppress free speech, if you go to one of the more popular conservative websites (such as Redstate.org) and post something even the tiniest bit critical of Bush or Republicans in general, they ban you. (At least, that’s what some have said.) I guess the truth hurts.

So, my experiences since I returned to the blogosphere inspired me to write another song parody. This is to the tune of The Beatles’ “I’ve Just Seen a Face”. (Original words and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.) I wanted to have it finished by yesterday, but I couldn’t quite get it done. Consider it a belated birthday present to Sir (James) Paul McCartney, whose birthday was June 18th. I hope you enjoy it. As usual, thank you Jane for your help and advice.

I’ve Just Seen a Post
Original words and music “I’ve Just Seen a Face” by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

I’ve just seen a post I can’t resist
What he did boast and I insist
He check his facts for me,
And I want all the world to see
He lied.
Lie-lie-lie-la-la-lied.

Had he not been so absurd
(more…)

September 21, 2008

A Quiz About the Savings and Loan Scandal

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 6:14 PM

This was originally published in one of “Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers“, but I can’t find which one. It was written several years after the famous S&L Scandal of the ’80’s, and I have made only minor editorial changes. (Such as identifying Neil Bush as the current President Bush’s brother, as opposed to the former President Bush’s son.) The quiz was found on a Snopes.com comments page, so I can only hope that guy copied it right. Anyway, I hope you enjoy taking this True-False quiz. Answers and scoring guide are below the fold, along with some additional reminders about how one of the current presidential candidates fit into all this.

You, your children, and your grandchildren are going to be paying for the savings & loan scandal for years, but how much do you know about it? See if you can tell which of the following statements are true:

1. The S&L scandal is the second-largest theft in the history of the world.

2. Deregulation eased restrictions so much that S&L owners could lend money to themselves.

3. The Garn Institute of Finance, names after Senator Mike Garn–who co-authored the S&L deregulation bill–recieved $2.2 million from S&L industry executives.

4. For his part in running an S&L into the ground, Neil Bush, (President George W. Bush’s brother), served time in jail and was banned from future S&L involvement.

5. Rep. Fernand St. Germain, House banking chairman and co-author of the S&L deregulation bill, was voted out of office after some questionable financial dealings. were reported. The S&L industry immediately sent him back to Washington…as its lobbyist.

6. When asked whether his massive lobbying of government officials had influenced their conduct, London Savings president Charles Keating said, “Of course not. These are honorable men.”

7. The S&L rip-off began in 1980, when Congress raised federal insurance on S&L deposits from $40,000 to $100,000, even though the average depositor’s savings account was only $20,000.

8. Assets seized from failed S&Ls included a buffalo sperm bank, a racehorse with syphilis, and a kitty-litter mine.

9. Working with the government in a bailout deal, James Fail invested $1 million of his own money to purchase 15 failing S&Ls. In return, the government gave him $1.8 billion in federal subsidies.

10. Federal regulators sometimes stalled as long as seven years before closing hopelessly insolvent thrifts.

11. When S&L owners who stole millions went to jail, their jail sentences averaged about five times the average sentence for bank robbers.

12. The government S&L bailout will ultimately cost taxpayers as much as $500 billion.

13. If the White House had admitted the problem and bailed out failing thrifts in 1986, instead of waiting until after the 1988 election, the bailout might have cost only $20 billion.

14. With the money lost in the S&L rip-off, the federal government could provide prenatal care for every American child for the next 2,300 years.

15. With the money lost in the S&L rip-off, the federal government could have bought 5 million average houses.

16. The authors of Inside Job, a bestselling exposé of the S&L scandal, found evidence of criminal activity in 50% of the thrifts they investigated.

ANSWERS (more…)

September 19, 2008

He’s Still Lock and Load to Me

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 9:51 PM
I am frightened at the prospect of a McCain (and subsequent Palin) Presidency because I do not trust him (or her) with our nation’s military arsenal at his (or her) disposal. I think they would be too eager to use them. I will never forget what Bill Clinton said at the convention, “America leads best by the power of our example, not by an example of our power.” I just wish I could trust old “Lock and Load” McCain to keep his itchy trigger finger otherwise occupied. On what (or whom) I couldn’t care less. Enjoy this parody of the great Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me”. And, as always, thank you Jane for your help.

He’s Still Lock and Load To Me
Original words and music “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me” by Billy Joel, 1980
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

“What’s the matter with the guys I’m hiring?”
Can’t you tell that they’re all too white?
“Maybe I should buy some help from a lobby?”
Welcome back to the ‘Keating Five’.
Where have you been hiding facts lately, Johnny?
You can’t talk trashy ‘cause you think you’re being funny.
Everybody wants to give the “New John” money,
But he’s still “Lock and Load” to me.

“What’s the matter with the war I’m priming?”
Can’t you tell that it’s not our style?
“Should I launch a squad of smart bomb flyers?”
Are you gonna watch the body count pile?
(more…)

September 18, 2008

Boulevard of Spoken Schemes

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:49 PM

The more I listen to Sen John McCain speak on the campaign trail, the more I am convinced that he’s full of shit. Or demented. Or both. And when he talks, he talks a shitload of lies and revisions of history, especially his own. So, for example, does he favor more regulation of the stock markets and greater oversight, or is he still “fundamentally, a de-regulator”? Here is Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” to help me say it better. And, as always, thank you, Jane for your help.

Boulevard of Spoken Schemes
Original words and music, “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day, 2004
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008.

I talk a phony ‘load
The only kind that I have ever known
Don’t know if it shows
But it’s fun for me and I talk a ‘load

I talk this empty streak
On the Boulevard of Spoken Schemes
Where the country weeps
And I’m the phony one and I talk a ‘load

I talk a ‘load
I talk a ‘load
I talk a ‘load
I talk a…

My shadow’s Phony Joe that talks beside me
(more…)

September 15, 2008

McCain-Palin, Still Breaking The Law

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:53 PM

Back on Aug 30th, reporter Jed Lewison reported that the McCain campaign’s choice of widely-unknown Alaskan Governor Sarah “Lady McPalin” was so hasty, that they had to use her official portrait in their campaign promotions, in “clear violation of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act”.. Well, it should come as no surprise that more than two weeks later, despite her many campaign appearances since the announcement, despite the loads of TV time she’s had, even if most of it was not in front of reporters asking questions, they are still thumbing their noses at the law. Yes, my friends, the McCain-Palin 2008 Campaign is still breaking the law.

September 14, 2008

So I Told the Senator, Thanks, But No Thanks, on That Vice Presidential Pick from Nowhere

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 11:22 AM

Below is an actual message I sent to Senator John McCain, via his contact form. Aren’t the Internets fun?

Dear Senator McCain,

Thanks, but no thanks, on that Vice Presidential Pick from Nowhere. I keep asking myself if you could have picked a worse running mate if you had chosen from among the Republicans you beat to win the nomination. And while I would not have wanted any of them to become president any more than I want you to, (more…)

September 11, 2008

Lady McPalin

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 7:15 PM

Lady McPalin
Original wiords and music “Lady Madonna”, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

Lady McPalin, standing on your feet
Wonder how you manage to take the heat?
Who took the money? Something else was meant.
Did you spend the money that Congress sent?
Friday night a lie about an airplane
(more…)

September 9, 2008

The Devil Went Into Cable

Filed under: Parody — Tags: , , , , , — Wayne A. Schneider @ 10:26 PM

The Devil Went Into Cable

Original words and music, “The Devil Went Down To Georgia” by Willian Joel Digregorio, Charles Fred Hayward, John Thomas Crain, Jr., Fred Leroy Edwards, James Wainwrigh Marshall, Charlie Daniels, 1992 – Give ’em a big hand, folks, the Charlie Daniels Band!
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008

The Devil went into cable. He was lookin’ for a buck to steal.
He was in a bind ’cause he was like his kind, and he was shillin’ his right-wing spiel,
When he came across this old guy sittin’ in a studio doing but squat.
And the Devil jumped up on the manager’s desk and said, “Boy, let me tell you what.

(more…)

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