I worry about those Glenn Beck fans who really do believe the inane things he says. They really don’t know.
They Don’t Know
Original words and music “Let It Snow” by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
Oh, the people outside are frightened,
And their ire’s not enlightened.
(more…)
According to a report by Newsweek’s Michael Isikoff and Daniel Klaidman, the two principle Bush Administration Justice Department lawyers responsible for creating the so-called “torture memos” will not be given as severe a reprimand as they deserve.
Previously, the report concluded that two key authors—Jay Bybee, now a federal appellate court judge, and John Yoo, now a law professor—violated their professional obligations as lawyers when they crafted a crucial 2002 memo approving the use of harsh tactics, say two Justice sources who asked for anonymity discussing an internal matter. But the reviewer, career veteran David Margolis, downgraded that assessment to say they showed “poor judgment,” say the sources. (Under department rules, poor judgment does not constitute professional misconduct.) The shift is significant: the original finding would have triggered a referral to state bar associations for potential disciplinary action—which, in Bybee’s case, could have led to an impeachment inquiry.
If this stands up (more…)
In March 2009, a jury acquited Dr. George Tiller of 19 misdemeanor violations of Kansas’s abortion law. It took them less than a half hour to reach their verdict. Occasionally sitting in attendance at that trial was a man named Scott Roeder. Deeply troubled by the verdict, Mr. Roeder approached Dr. Tiller in his church a few months later and fired a bullet into his head. Today, in the same courtroom where Dr. Tiller was acquited, Mr. Roeder was found guilty of first degree murder. It took the jury 37 minutes to reach their verdict.
And the right verdict it was, too. (more…)
People often ask me why I don’t just sing my own song parodies. Well, as I’ve said all along – I can’t really sing. Want proof? Observe. It’s okay to laugh, too. I know how silly I look and sound.
Told ya!
Just a quick word of thanks to everyone out there who has been supportive of my efforts to quit smoking.
These Tea Party people, whichever Tea Party they’re in, worry me. As I believe the medical community might put it, I don’t think they’re playing with a full deck. I understand that, at its core, the movement is supposed to be about how we’re taxed too much as it is. The funny thing is, they weren’t being taxed too much when these rallies started. (more…)
This song was originally posted on 01/30/07. I think it helps remind us how racists do not understand their own racism.
I’m a fan of David Brock’s Media Matters for America (I highly recommend it to fans of this blog.) Recently, I got a notice that Ann Coulter had done it again. This time, Sean Hannity had invited Ann Coulter onto his radio show to discuss Democratic Presidential candidates (which strikes me a little like Dr. Josef Mengele sitting down with Adolf Eichmann to discuss important contributions by Jewish people, but maybe that’s just me.) So, Coulter says this:
”When Gerald Ford died a few weeks ago, all of the coverage kept saying, you know, coyly suggesting that he was a mediocrity, that he had never passed any major legislation, never passed any major legislation — which, you know, on one hand, we’re Republicans; we don’t want them passing legislation, we want them repealing legislation — but leaving that point aside, I mean, everything they were saying to point out how little qualified Ford was as this accidental president is surely true, you know, tenfold in the case of Obama. And I do think it does show — it further confirms my point that Democrats are racist, and they’re just stunned to find a black man who can walk and talk. And, you know, not being a racist, I’m not really that impressed with a black man who can walk and talk. I knew that.”
So did we, asshole. And that was a very racist thing to say, by the way.
My first attempt to do these by video. Please let me know what you think. About any of it. Oh, and, sorry, I couldn’t resist channeling Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel at the end there. That kind of thing will happen.
And why would we say something like that? Well, you can thank long-time New York City anchorman Ernie Anastos. His weatherman had just finished telling some story about a guy who plucked chickens (for reasons unknown) and, well, you can see what happened. Pay attention to his co-anchor on the left. Her reaction is great.
I really wish I knew where Harry Reid stands on things. He’s trying to get a bill passed, just not one that will do more good than harm.
Along Comes Harry
Original words and music “Along Comes Mary” by Terry Kirkma,
Additional Lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Every time I think that I see Congress making progress something cautions me
And every now and then I spend my time In rhyme and verse and curse those faults I see
And then along comes Harry
(more…)
Does the sight of Sarah Palin on your TV machine make you nauseous? Why not do what I do? Just play one of these six Sarah Palin song parodies in your head. You’ll thank me later.
(I posted them with the commentary I had at the time, if any.) (more…)
Fear, Scare, and Play Unfair
Original words and music “Here, There, and Everywhere”, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
To lead a fettered life they need my mode to be fear…
Fear, making the case through the year
(more…)
A long, long time ago, in a college far, far away, I awkwardly sat in on one of my first dorm parties. The stereo was playing “Roundabout” by Yes. I didn’t know much about rock and roll, having grown up with parents who preferred country and western. The old country and western, with the twangy voices and such. Not today’s rock and roll-style country that the younger folks, and even some of the older folks, enjoy today. I knew I liked the song and said so to the guy next to me. He looked at me and said, “You’re normal.” Little did he know…
If I do say so myself, I prefer this version of the song to the original, because my lyrics make more sense. You can actually tell what the hell my song’s about. It’s about Fox News Channel, of course. I hope you enjoy it. (I apologize. I could not find a satisfactory video for this, but I think you all know how it goes. That would make you normal. 
)
Around To Shout
Original words and music “Roundabout” by Jon Anderson, Steve Howe
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
They’ll be around to shout
The words will make you have your doubt
They spend the day this way
(more…)
Ever wonder why some people think the stupidest things? Maybe the people they’re listening to aren’t all that smart.
All The Dopey People
Original Words and Music “Eleanor Rigby”, by John Lennon, Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
Ah, look at all the dopey people
Ah, look at all the dopey people
Billy O’Reilly
Spits out the lies from a search
Of the websites he’s been.
Lives in a dream
Works on the TV,
Wearing his hate that he keeps
In the heart of his core.
Who is it for?
All the dopey people,
Where do their views come from?
All the dopey people,
Where do they all go wrong?
Hannity’s Ego
Writing the words (more…)
This one is about how I feel now whenever I see one of those right-wingers on the TV machine, saying the same line of crap that’s been disproven so many times before (or would be by the next morning.)
And I have to give a big Thank You to my beautiful honey, Jane, for a great suggestion for the title. Thank you, honey. I love you.
Enjoy the song. I included two videos on this one. The first is a version with the band singing it live, many years after it was a hit. Note the reaction of Jeff Lynne when they do the fast talking part. The second video below the lyrics appears to be a produced video, lip-synched, with some of the band members dancing around the set while playing their violins and bass fiddles. Kind of cool. I just hope they don’t get blocked two seconds after I post this.
Yearn to Groan
Original Words and Music "Turn to Stone" by Jeff Lynne
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
The talking heads are empty now
The lies don’t work no more
And so the thoughts are way down low
Churning, churning, churning
A crowd that knows it lost the fight
The a-holes of the hard right
Says anything that is a lie
To my Blue world
I yearn to groan when you are on, I yearn to groan
Yearn to groan, when you going off, I can’t look on
(more...)
Give Us Single Payer
Original words and music “Living on a Prayer” by Jon Bon Jovi,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Once upon a time not so long ago:
Tommy loves his work as a doc.
Patients have all griped,
Insurance is not enough.
It’s tough.
Too Many Sheeple
Original words and music “Too Many People” by Paul McCartney, 1971
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Too many sheeple tuning into Fox
Too many teaching that a Peace can wait
Too many sheeple fooled into a box
Too many waiting for that Judgment Day
That was your first mistake
You took a lie they made and spoke it as true
(more…)
Conservatives. What are you gonna do? You can’t reason with them, and you can’t take away their guns and shoot them with them. Not that I would want to. Shoot them with them. But you can’t reason with them. They just don’t operate from the same set of facts that we do. We liberals tend to believe that something is true because it can be proven to be true. But listening to today’s conservatives (of all stripes), it’s as if they believe something is true because enough people believe it to be true, regardless of whether or not it actually is true. And it is from this point of view that they debate things. Not from facts, but from beliefs. And it simply does not matter to them if whatever they believe is not actually true, as long as it supports the rest of their argument, they believe that their argument has merit. I admit that you can sometimes give them credit for following a proper chain of logic based on the propositions they put forth, but even then they sometimes veer from the strict discipline of logic and try to use their conclusion as their proof. But since their propositions are often wrong from the start, it makes no difference how reasonable they sound, they’re still wrong! (Or, if they’re right, it’s for the wrong reasons.) And so I wrote this song to them. I hope you like it.
Conservative
Original words and music “Conquistador” by Procol Harum, 1967
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Conservative, your argument’s in need of scrutiny
And with some devil’s talking points you speak of certainty
I see your litmus paper test
Has long since come to mean
(more…)
I certainly hope you didn’t think I was going to talk about my sex life, because that story could fill an index card using block lettering. Not much there. But there is someone whose sex life we can make fun of, and that’s my soon-to-be-former Governor Eliot “Ness” Spitzer. You might have heard he got himself into a little bit of trouble playing with the ladies, if you know what I mean. Expensive ones, too! If it turns out that if any state money was used, which do you think each New Yorker should get? A tax refund equal to their share of the amount misused, or an equivalent amount of time, at normal tax-paying-Joe rates, with the prostitute? That might be a tough choice for some. But I’m sure my lovely wife, Jane, with whom I have been living for twenty years this month since I got out of the Air Force, will give me proper guidance as to which answer I am allowed to choose. Aren’t you, Honey?
Anyway, here’s a silly thing I wrote about our Dear Governor’s little sexual problem. It’s to the tune of The Band’s “The Shape I’m In”, written by J.R. Robertson, © 1970 Canaan Music, Inc.
The Sex I’ve Had
Original words and music “The Shape I’m In” by J.R. Robertson, © 1970 Canaan Music, Inc.
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, © 2008
Go out wander, sex in the motel
Come downtown, have to tumble in a hotel
Oh, you don’t know the sex I’ve had
Has anybody seen my lady
If she finds out, it’ll drive her crazy
Oh, she don’t know the sex I’ve had
I’m gonna go down to the District
(more…)
Well, you know how I feel about “President” George Bush (spits on ground). As usual, a song came on the radio on the drive home, a line for a parody came to me, and the result is below. (Don’t worry. I waited until I got home to finish it. The second half, that is. The first part was done by the time I pulled into my driveway. Sorry.) It’s to the tune of Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America”, written by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson. I hope you enjoy it. (If nothing else, it gives you an excuse to dig up a great album and play it!)
As usual, and I’m sorry I forgot to mention it sooner, thank you, Jane, for your always-appreciated help.
Ruining America (A Song Parody)
Original music and lyrics “Breakfast in America” by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson, 1979
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008
Take a look at my president
He’s the only one I got
Not much of a president
He’s doesn’t seem to get a lot
Such a Dumbo, like his father
Ruining America
Like the folks in California
I’m hoping impeachment comes true
But there’s not a lot I can do
Could we have charges by breakfast
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 1/12/08
As if this surprises anyone, yet another song about the need for impeaching President Bush and Vice President Cheney. This is based on Carly Simon’s “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”. I hope you enjoy it.
That’s The Way We’ve Always Heard It Should Be
Original words and music, “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”, Carly Simon
Additional lyrics Wayne A. Schneider, 2008
The Chairman holds it back with no votes on
The resolution’s in the dark
We call his office, still
No reply, no remark
We e-mail to the Speaker’s Chambers where
The Speaker reads them, so it seems.
She says, “Not in your dreams.”
But she forgets we can dream.
But you say it’s time we move to impeachment
And raise the remedy that we have, you and me.
Now that’s the way we’ve always heard it should be,
We want impeachment. Impeach them.
That friend of Cheney has been pardoned now.
He keeps his houses and his lawns.
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 01/10/08
As regular readers of my blog know (sorry I’ve been away so long), I have been imploring my Congressman John Hall (NY-19) to do everything he can to help bring about the impeachment of Vice President Dick Cheney. It’s not hard to see why that needs to be. Rep Dennis Kucinich introduced a privileged resolution to impeach the Vice President, and rather than face the truth and admit that the man needs to go as soon as possible (if for no other reason than that he can no longer be an irregular heartbeat away from the presidency), the House of Representatives voted to put it on the back burner with the heat kept low so it won’t simmer too quickly. Mr. Hall was among those who voted to do this. I would have preferred that he support Mr. Kucinich and move to get rid the Executive Branch of our government of Evil, but he didn’t, and now Evil still lurks in Washington. (Speaking of which, Cheney hasn’t been in the news much lately. Is that a good thing? Does that mean he’s managed to duck the media? Will he continue to do his evil behind closed doors, where only the occasional spider bears witness? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out the hard way.)
Here now, is another attempt to get the attention of my congressman and ask him to do whatever it takes to remove Mr. Cheney from office before more people die pursuing his feckless dreams. It is based on the hit song “Dance With Me” written by John and Johanna Hall, and performed by Orleans. I had the honor of hearing Mr. Hall perform this song solo at SUNY New Paltz at a pre-No Nukes Rally at Battery Park meeting. I was thrilled because I liked the song and it was among the first few times I ever watched an artist in person perform a song I had heard on the radio. I’ve always thought back on that experience fondly. I also enjoyed the other guest speakers that day and, while I do remember quite clearly who they were, I will not name them. (It might distract from the issue at hand.) Please enjoy the song, and feel free to sing the song quietly to yourself at work. Especially if you work in Washington, DC.
Stand With Me
Original words and music “Dance With Me” by John and Johanna Hall
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008
Stand with me
We need to stick together
Can’t you see?
The question is now whether
Rights are falling
So I am calling
Stand with me
Tyranny
Can never be forgiven
We’re not free
The way that we are living
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 12/16/07
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has kept impeachment “off the table” for too long, and she has met the nation’s cries to impeach the Vice President (and, later, the President) with silence. This silence has spoken volumes to Bush and Cheney, the “them” of the following song parody. It’s yet another message to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, “Impeach them or else”. Enjoy.
Silence Has Told Them
Original words and music “Silence is Golden” Bob Crewe
Additional Lyrics Wayne A. Schneider copyright 2007
Oh, how it hurts deep inside
To see Nancy do nothing to them
Oh, don’t it pain to see someone lie
Oh, especially when someone is them
Silence has told them
They will both go free
Silence has told them, told them
They will both go free
Talking is cheap, when it comes from these creeps
Even though they both act like they know
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 12/07/07
An ode to Senator Larry Craig (R-ID).
Senate Queen
Original words and music, “Killer Queen”, by Freddie Mercury
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
He keeps roaming the bath stalls
In his favored habitat
‘Let me have men’, he says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in sympathy
For closets and secrecy
At anytime an invitation
He can’t decline
D.C. bars for gentlemen
Well-versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
He’s a Senate Queen
Goes prowlin’ toilet scenes
(more…)
Boycott the Super Bowl
UPDATED AGAIN
NOTE: Instead of watching the game, watch Puppy Bowl VI, on Animal Planet, starting at 3 PM ET.
CBS has decided to break with long-standing policy and start allowing advocacy ads during Super Bowl 44 (or, as the Romans would have called it, SVPER BOWL 44.) Well, not just any ads. They have to be “responsibly produced,” which, apparently, means they only want to run ads of which right-wingers would approve. (more…)