Republicans Lie

I have decided to make this post sticky so that newcomers to my blog can find it more easily. I also hope they’ll check out the rest of it, too. And thank you all for visiting my blog.

I have to thank Jane for her fantastic help with some of the words. Her suggestions really made this a lot better and a lot easier to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you very much, and if you’re out there Don McLean™, I apologize.

UPDATE: At the very good suggestion of a poster at dkos (Fumie), I changed one word. “stay” to “pay”. I like it better. I hope you do, too. I am not in the habit of changing these things after I finally post them (except to correct typos.)

Republicans Lie
(Original words and music, “American Pie™” by Don McLean™,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that party use to show its guile.
And I knew if they had their chance,
That they would take an ugly stance
And maybe they’d be greedy for a while.

But Ronald Reagan made me shiver
With every falsehood he’d deliver.
Bad views for the nation,
I couldn’t show elation.

I still remember how they cried
When they read about his widowed bride.
But something left them satisfied,
The way they used their lies.

So why, why do Republicans lie?
Give them credit how they edit
Out what they want to hide.
And them Party boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye,
Singin’, “This’ll be the way The Truth dies.
This’ll be the way The Truth dies.”

Do you hate the Book of Rules,
And would you make space for God in schools,
If the Bible tells you so?

Last Words

A poster (badmoodman) at the other blog I contribute to (TheZoo) posted this hilarious video about a Civil War colonel’s last words…

See Our Best

Well, it looks like the Republicans are putting together another unexciting field of candidates. According to a recent poll, the candidate that Republican voters were most excited about, by 67%, was “None.” In honor of the Republican Candidates for president, I present this song, based on another Disney classic, “Be Our Guest”, from “Beauty and the Beast.” (Another of my personal favorites.)

See Our Best
Original words and music “Be Our Guest” by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2011

REINCE PRIEBUS (SPOKEN):
Ladies and gentlemen, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the GOP proudly presents…

Your winner!

REINCE PRIEBUS:
See our best! See our best!
Put our viewpoints to the test.
Tie a mike around our neck, and see
That we are not in jest.
Kooks for sure, anti-gay,
Anti-anything you say
Try the hate stuff, it’s malicious,
So deceiving and so vicious

Under Their Scheme

Please don’t sue me, Disney. I just wanted to warn people about the dangers of what the Republicans are trying to do, and I thought a catchy little tune might help. This also happens to be one of my all-time favorite Disney songs.

Under Their Scheme
Original words and music “Under The Sea” by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken, 1989
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2011

Sebastian (spoken): Ariel, listen to me. The Ayn Rand world is a mess
Life under their scheme is deader than anything you’d want out there

(singing) The sequence is always greener, in somebody’s else’s take
You dream about growing up there, but that is a big mistake
Just look how their view confounds you, they scare you and want you poor
Such powerful things astound you, what good is they working for?

Under their scheme, under their scheme
Medicare’s deader, not getting better, take it from me

Follow me on the Twitter

I signed up for a Twitter account. You are welcome to follow me at @WayneASchneider. I thank you in advance, and I hope to make it worth your while. (As I get used to it, I’ll learn how to consolidate my messages.)

I also managed to get a tiny url: http://tinyurl.com/waynesbrain

Comedy Classics – Laugh-In

Laugh-In was one of my favorite shows growing up. And look at all the famous people who appeared when they were much younger, and alive.

Mitt Romney – Moral Mendacity or Memory Failure?

During Monday night’s Republican presidential debate, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was asked a question about what role FEMA should play in disaster relief and whether or not more should be done by the states themselves.

CNN’s JOHN KING: What else, Governor Romney? You’ve been a chief executive of a state. I was just in Joplin, Missouri. I’ve been in Mississippi and Louisiana and Tennessee and other communities dealing with whether it’s the tornadoes, the flooding, and worse. FEMA is about to run out of money, and there are some people who say do it on a case-by-case basis and some people who say, you know, maybe we’re learning a lesson here that the states should take on more of this role. How do you deal with something like that?

His response was not only confusing, but apparently in direct contradiction to the way he governed Massachusetts.

The FBI Forgets the Fourth

I seriously have to wonder just what it means to some people to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States.” The FBI has decided to update its operations manual, which they like to call the Domestic Investigations and Operations Guide, (last updated under the previous Attorney General, Michael Mukasey), and for being such good guardians of the Constitution, they decided to let themselves have more power to abuse and ignore it.

According to the New York Times, the FBI will be allowing its agents “more leeway to search databases, go through household trash or use surveillance teams to scrutinize the lives of people who have attracted their attention.”

Republicans Who Hate Women

Today on Meet The Press, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum tried, once again, to prove he’s the furthest one out on the right when it comes to abortion. Ignoring both constitutional precedent as well as common sense logic, Santorum made the claim that

This Is NOT a Sex Scandal

Over at Think Progress, in a message for Rep. Anthony Weiner Matt Yglesias described the twitter photo controversy as a “sex scandal.” I say it is no such thing.

Enemy (The Album Parody)

The same friend who once gave me a suggestion that resulted in “Georgie (A Rock Opera Parody)” recently suggested I should try to do a concept album, out of one that wasn’t originally a concept album. Having just completed “Against The Universe” (below), I wondered if I could do something about Fox News Channel with all of the songs on the Beatles album “Let It Be”. I hope you like the result. I suggest you just pop in the CD, play it through from start to finish, and follow along with the lyrics below. You can decide for yourself which songs are talking about whom, or what.

Enemy (The Album parody)

I did a pygmy by Rupert Murdoch and the Death Panels.
Phase One in which Doocy gets his oats.

Against the Universe

It’s getting bad at Fox News Channel. (Okay, maybe I should say “worse.”) It’s like they live in their own little universe and rant and rail against ours, the real one. Actual facts mean nothing to them. Take the recent blizzard in the Northeast. Those of us who understand how climate change (of which global warming is but one part) affects the climate could have told you this would happen, and that it will happen again. The people at Fox (in particular, Tucker Carlson, who may possibly be the stupidest man on television in addition to being the biggest dick), on the other hand, said the blizzard “proved” that global warming didn’t exist. As Strother Martin said in Cool Hand Luke, “What we have here is failure to communicate. Some men just can’t be reached.” But then they went ahead and created Fox News Channel anyway.

UPDATE: For a sampling of the kind of lies Fox News Channel has told over the years, check out this compilation of the lies they told in 2010. (Source: MediaMatters.org)

Against the Universe
Original words and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, 1968
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2010

Words are spewing out of mindless brains into a microphone
They differ while they pass, they spin away against the universe
Fools of sorrow they destroy the shifting few with open minds
Dissenting and resenting me

Their House

Well, as we all know, our worst nightmares came through on Election Day and the Republicans won enough seats to take control of the House of Representatives. But what everyone wants to know is how will they govern? And that’s an interesting question because Republicans have no interest in governing, only in ruling. But we do know that with their penchant for telling lies, their House will be one filled with deceit. (Sorry I can’t get a video to post here. May I suggest you open to separate tabs or browser windows and re-size them so you can watch the video and follow my lyrics.)

Their House
Original words and music by Madness, 1982
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2010

Boehner talks the Sunday fest
Cantor’s wired to do the rest
The lies they’re making up will scare
Seems they’re standing in it deep
Bagger’s have a vow to keep
They won’t hang around

Their House, will be riddled with deceit

The Cut That Isn’t a Cut

As you may have heard, President Barack Obama and the Republicans (who, oddly enough, are not, technically, in power yet), have struck a deal extending the Bush Tax Cuts For The Wealthy (their official name) for another two years. In return for these tax “cuts”, the Republicans have agreed to extend unemployment benefits for currently unemployed people for another thirteen months along with a few other helpful things for the poor. The stage has been set to make this a campaign issue for 2012. Do you support extending tax “cuts” for millionaires and billionaires who don’t need them? Or do you finally agree that rich people do not use their tax savings to create jobs? But is anybody really going to be paying less in taxes because of this? Not necessarily.

In Washington, DC, and only in Washington, DC, a “cut” is merely a

Going to DC

I’m In a MoveOn.Org TV Ad For John Hall

This ad is NOT paid for by the

The Tea Party People

This is about the Tea Party People, bless their pointy little heads. They just don’t seem to understand what it is they want. They want the government to stay out of health care (falsely believing we have the “best health care system in the world”, owing to a mistaken belief that individual achievements make an entire system great), but they don’t want their Medicare touched (which is a government-run health care system held in high esteem by these same people). They think they are taxed too high (hence, their “official” name is the “Taxed Enough Already” Party, T.E.A. Party), yet they are currently taxed (at the federal level) at the lowest rates of their lifetimes. Anyway, this is to the tune of Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week”. I hope you like it.

The Tea Party People
Original words and music “One Week” by Ed Robertson,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

They let one speak and he looked at me
Cocked his head toward his sign that said “I’m angry”

Another Takes It Apart

I recently came across a very interesting article in the Boston Globe. Titled “How Facts Backfire”, it was about how the introduction of facts into a discussion not only fails to change the mind of the person who was wrong, but it actually makes them dig in and believe what they erroneously believe even more. Which would explain why I’ve had some difficulty getting through to people with whom I disagree politically. Anyway, to give you an idea of what it’s like, I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it. You should definitely enjoy the video, because the tune is quite catchy.

Another Takes It Apart
Original words and music “Another Nail For My Heart” by Chris Difford and Glenn Tillbrook
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

The case was made from out of his end
He did it all with a symptomatic trend
That was derangement

His mind was closed, he did not vote
He couldn’t be bothered, maybe this spoke
Of his estrangement

Down in the Foxhole

I truly believe the trio on “Fox & Friends” are doing the nation a huge disservice. Oh, sure, they’re entertaining because they don’t know what they’re talking about. But they’re dangerous because they work hard to convince their audience that they do know what they’re talking about. And their audience (as far as the ones they’re intending to reach) are not the type inclined to do their own fact-checking. For that they rely on Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck. Luckily for us there’s Newshounds (motto: “We watch FOX so you don’t have to.”) So I wrote this parody about the dimwits (and by “dimwits”, I mean Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade, in case anyone thinks I’m being vague) on “Fox & Friends”. I hope you enjoy it. (And I thank you, Jane, for your help.)

Down in the Foxhole
Original words and music “Down on the Corner” by John Fogarty,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Early in the mornin’, just about breakfast time
Over on the Fox set, they’re startin’ with no minds
Three dips on the TV, tryin’ to stir you up
Rupert picks a theme out and they all begin to harp

Down in the Foxhole, out comes deceit
Gretchy and the Dumb Boys are spinnin’
Keep it simple, tap the heat

Brian hits the stupid, and people just got to smile

Republican Girl

This could really be about any of them. Sarah Palin. Michelle Bachmann. Liz Cheney. Phyllis Schlafly. They’re all out there, so detached from reality. Maybe you can name some more.

As usual, thank you, Jane, for your help.

Republican Girl
Original words and music “American Girl” by Tom Petty
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

Well, she was a Republican girl
Raised on premises
She couldn’t help thinkin’ that she
Was a little more Pro-Life than all else
After all it was a

Another World

This is a message directed at Tony Hayward, CEO of British Petroleum, and to the rest of BP as well. We only have this one planet to live on. Try not to use it up before we can find another place to live. Thank you. It’s to the tune of “Another Girl” by the Beatles. (They give us such great material to work with.)

Another World
Original words and music “Another Girl” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

For we have not another world, another world…

You’re making me say that I trust nobody but you
But as from today well I just can’t say that it’s true
I ain’t no fool and I still say it’s all we got
For we have not another world, another world

It’s deeper than all the spills

The John McCain Collection

This is a compilation of all the song parodies I have written about John McCain. People consider him to be a hero because he survived several years as a P.O.W. I like Al Franken’s perspective. Long before Al became a Senator, he said to McCain, “Well you basically sat out the war.” McCain at least has enough of a sense of humor to recognize that as funny, and he did laugh. But his recent flip-flopping, such as denying he ever considered himself a maverick, have shown him to be a desperate man hoping to keep his job so he doesn’t have to go home to his $100,000,000 wife. Here, now, are the song parodies I’ve written about Senator John McCain (Maverick, AZ).

The Right Ignores

One of the challenges we on the Left have in debating some on the Right is the experience of debating someone who is not working within the same reality we are. It seems that no matter how correct we might be, some on the Right will just be willfully blind to the facts. Their ideology is the framework for their belief system, and it makes no difference to them that this framework does not match the truth. No matter how many experts you give them, no matter how strong a proof you can lay out, if it doesn’t match their pre-conceived notions, they will simply ignore it.

The Right Ignores
Original words and music “The Night Before” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider

We hear all these guys (ah the Right ignores)
Proof was in our eyes (ah the Right ignores)
But to facts they’re blind
You can’t change their mind

Mister Old and Careless Guy

I am not a fan of David Gregory on Meet the Press. I’ve watched, and I find that he seems more concerned with getting his list of questions in than he is with refuting the lies his guests tell. And the entire show’s format is part of the problem. The guests know they’re only going to be on for a limited amount of time, and if they stall long enough, or simply refuse to address the question being asked, the host will move on to another subject. And when the Republicans controlled both Houses of Congress and the White House, there were always more Republicans on the show than Democrats. Now that Democrats control both Houses of Congress and the White House, there are still more Republican guests than Democratic ones. Why? And who the hell cares what John McCain thnks about anything? He lost, Mr. Gregory. The country rejected his ideas. We don’t need to hear what he thinks because, well, for one thing, he can’t make up his mind what that is, and for another thing, he lost!. In fact, throughout the past year, you’ve let one Republican lie go by after another on the health care debate. I think you’re getting old and careless on the job, Mr. Gregory. And maybe the show has outlived its usefulness as a means of informing the public about the facts. And here’s America to help me say it another way.

Mister Old and Careless Guy
Original words and music “Sister Golden Hair” by Gerry Beckley 1975
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider 2010

Well I tried to watch it Sunday
But I got so damned distressed
That I told myself that one day
They should cancel “Meet the Press”

He ain’t steady

Pheasant Plucker

I wouldn’t try saying this in front of the kids.

The Blogging Collection

This is a compilation of all the song parodies I wrote centered on the theme of blogging.
—

The problem of which I speak in the beginning is directly responsible for the creation of that wonderful blog, TheZoo, and I am grateful to the other Critters for inviting me to join them there.

I’ve noticed that ThinkProgress (affectionately known to us as “TP”) still has a problem with trolls. Trolls are people who jump into a topic and post false, misleading, deceptive or inflammatory remarks with the sole purpose of derailing the conversation so that we waste our time, and the site master’s bandwidth. They often have no rational basis for the things they say. They know that if they jump in and say something like, “Liberals are baby-killers,” they’ll get a reaction. They aren’t interested in discussing anything rationally. They’re just trying to piss us off. Unfortunately, they all too often succeed.

The ironic thing is that while they often accuse us of trying to suppress free speech, if you go to one of the more popular conservative websites (such as Redstate.org) and post something even the tiniest bit critical of Bush or Republicans in general, they ban you. (At least, that’s what some have said.) I guess the truth hurts.

So, my experiences since I returned to the blogosphere inspired me to write another song parody. This is to the tune of The Beatles’ “I’ve Just Seen a Face”. (Original words and music by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.) I wanted to have it finished by yesterday, but I couldn’t quite get it done. Consider it a belated birthday present to Sir (James) Paul McCartney, whose birthday was June 18th. I hope you enjoy it. As usual, thank you Jane for your help and advice.

I’ve Just Seen a Post
Original words and music “I’ve Just seen a face” by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007

I’ve just seen a post I can’t resist
What he did boast and I insist
He check his facts for me,
And I want all the world to see
He lied.
Lie-lie-lie-la-la-lied.

Had he not been so absurd