Fear, Scare, and Play Unfair
Original words and music “Here, There, and Everywhere”, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
To lead a fettered life they need my mode to be fear…
Fear, making the case through the year
(more…)
A long, long time ago, in a college far, far away, I awkwardly sat in on one of my first dorm parties. The stereo was playing “Roundabout” by Yes. I didn’t know much about rock and roll, having grown up with parents who preferred country and western. The old country and western, with the twangy voices and such. Not today’s rock and roll-style country that the younger folks, and even some of the older folks, enjoy today. I knew I liked the song and said so to the guy next to me. He looked at me and said, “You’re normal.” Little did he know…
If I do say so myself, I prefer this version of the song to the original, because my lyrics make more sense. You can actually tell what the hell my song’s about. It’s about Fox News Channel, of course. I hope you enjoy it. (I apologize. I could not find a satisfactory video for this, but I think you all know how it goes. That would make you normal. 
)
Around To Shout
Original words and music “Roundabout” by Jon Anderson, Steve Howe
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
They’ll be around to shout
The words will make you have your doubt
They spend the day this way
(more…)
Ever wonder why some people think the stupidest things? Maybe the people they’re listening to aren’t all that smart.
All The Dopey People
Original Words and Music “Eleanor Rigby”, by John Lennon, Paul McCartney
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
Ah, look at all the dopey people
Ah, look at all the dopey people
Billy O’Reilly
Spits out the lies from a search
Of the websites he’s been.
Lives in a dream
Works on the TV,
Wearing his hate that he keeps
In the heart of his core.
Who is it for?
All the dopey people,
Where do their views come from?
All the dopey people,
Where do they all go wrong?
Hannity’s Ego
Writing the words (more…)
This one is about how I feel now whenever I see one of those right-wingers on the TV machine, saying the same line of crap that’s been disproven so many times before (or would be by the next morning.)
And I have to give a big Thank You to my beautiful honey, Jane, for a great suggestion for the title. Thank you, honey. I love you.
Enjoy the song. I included two videos on this one. The first is a version with the band singing it live, many years after it was a hit. Note the reaction of Jeff Lynne when they do the fast talking part. The second video below the lyrics appears to be a produced video, lip-synched, with some of the band members dancing around the set while playing their violins and bass fiddles. Kind of cool. I just hope they don’t get blocked two seconds after I post this.
Yearn to Groan
Original Words and Music "Turn to Stone" by Jeff Lynne
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider
The talking heads are empty now
The lies don’t work no more
And so the thoughts are way down low
Churning, churning, churning
A crowd that knows it lost the fight
The a-holes of the hard right
Says anything that is a lie
To my Blue world
I yearn to groan when you are on, I yearn to groan
Yearn to groan, when you going off, I can’t look on
(more...)
Give Us Single Payer
Original words and music “Living on a Prayer” by Jon Bon Jovi,
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Once upon a time not so long ago:
Tommy loves his work as a doc.
Patients have all griped,
Insurance is not enough.
It’s tough.
Too Many Sheeple
Original words and music “Too Many People” by Paul McCartney, 1971
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Too many sheeple tuning into Fox
Too many teaching that a Peace can wait
Too many sheeple fooled into a box
Too many waiting for that Judgment Day
That was your first mistake
You took a lie they made and spoke it as true
(more…)
Conservatives. What are you gonna do? You can’t reason with them, and you can’t take away their guns and shoot them with them. Not that I would want to. Shoot them with them. But you can’t reason with them. They just don’t operate from the same set of facts that we do. We liberals tend to believe that something is true because it can be proven to be true. But listening to today’s conservatives (of all stripes), it’s as if they believe something is true because enough people believe it to be true, regardless of whether or not it actually is true. And it is from this point of view that they debate things. Not from facts, but from beliefs. And it simply does not matter to them if whatever they believe is not actually true, as long as it supports the rest of their argument, they believe that their argument has merit. I admit that you can sometimes give them credit for following a proper chain of logic based on the propositions they put forth, but even then they sometimes veer from the strict discipline of logic and try to use their conclusion as their proof. But since their propositions are often wrong from the start, it makes no difference how reasonable they sound, they’re still wrong! (Or, if they’re right, it’s for the wrong reasons.) And so I wrote this song to them. I hope you like it.
Conservative
Original words and music “Conquistador” by Procol Harum, 1967
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2009
Conservative, your argument’s in need of scrutiny
And with some devil’s talking points you speak of certainty
I see your litmus paper test
Has long since come to mean
(more…)
I certainly hope you didn’t think I was going to talk about my sex life, because that story could fill an index card using block lettering. Not much there. But there is someone whose sex life we can make fun of, and that’s my soon-to-be-former Governor Eliot “Ness” Spitzer. You might have heard he got himself into a little bit of trouble playing with the ladies, if you know what I mean. Expensive ones, too! If it turns out that if any state money was used, which do you think each New Yorker should get? A tax refund equal to their share of the amount misused, or an equivalent amount of time, at normal tax-paying-Joe rates, with the prostitute? That might be a tough choice for some. But I’m sure my lovely wife, Jane, with whom I have been living for twenty years this month since I got out of the Air Force, will give me proper guidance as to which answer I am allowed to choose. Aren’t you, Honey?
Anyway, here’s a silly thing I wrote about our Dear Governor’s little sexual problem. It’s to the tune of The Band’s “The Shape I’m In”, written by J.R. Robertson, © 1970 Canaan Music, Inc.
The Sex I’ve Had
Original words and music “The Shape I’m In” by J.R. Robertson, © 1970 Canaan Music, Inc.
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, © 2008
Go out wander, sex in the motel
Come downtown, have to tumble in a hotel
Oh, you don’t know the sex I’ve had
Has anybody seen my lady
If she finds out, it’ll drive her crazy
Oh, she don’t know the sex I’ve had
I’m gonna go down to the District
(more…)
Well, you know how I feel about “President” George Bush (spits on ground). As usual, a song came on the radio on the drive home, a line for a parody came to me, and the result is below. (Don’t worry. I waited until I got home to finish it. The second half, that is. The first part was done by the time I pulled into my driveway. Sorry.) It’s to the tune of Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America”, written by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson. I hope you enjoy it. (If nothing else, it gives you an excuse to dig up a great album and play it!)
As usual, and I’m sorry I forgot to mention it sooner, thank you, Jane, for your always-appreciated help.
Ruining America (A Song Parody)
Original music and lyrics “Breakfast in America” by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson, 1979
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008
Take a look at my president
He’s the only one I got
Not much of a president
He’s doesn’t seem to get a lot
Such a Dumbo, like his father
Ruining America
Like the folks in California
I’m hoping impeachment comes true
But there’s not a lot I can do
Could we have charges by breakfast
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 1/12/08
As if this surprises anyone, yet another song about the need for impeaching President Bush and Vice President Cheney. This is based on Carly Simon’s “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”. I hope you enjoy it.
That’s The Way We’ve Always Heard It Should Be
Original words and music, “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be”, Carly Simon
Additional lyrics Wayne A. Schneider, 2008
The Chairman holds it back with no votes on
The resolution’s in the dark
We call his office, still
No reply, no remark
We e-mail to the Speaker’s Chambers where
The Speaker reads them, so it seems.
She says, “Not in your dreams.”
But she forgets we can dream.
But you say it’s time we move to impeachment
And raise the remedy that we have, you and me.
Now that’s the way we’ve always heard it should be,
We want impeachment. Impeach them.
That friend of Cheney has been pardoned now.
He keeps his houses and his lawns.
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 01/10/08
As regular readers of my blog know (sorry I’ve been away so long), I have been imploring my Congressman John Hall (NY-19) to do everything he can to help bring about the impeachment of Vice President Dick Cheney. It’s not hard to see why that needs to be. Rep Dennis Kucinich introduced a privileged resolution to impeach the Vice President, and rather than face the truth and admit that the man needs to go as soon as possible (if for no other reason than that he can no longer be an irregular heartbeat away from the presidency), the House of Representatives voted to put it on the back burner with the heat kept low so it won’t simmer too quickly. Mr. Hall was among those who voted to do this. I would have preferred that he support Mr. Kucinich and move to get rid the Executive Branch of our government of Evil, but he didn’t, and now Evil still lurks in Washington. (Speaking of which, Cheney hasn’t been in the news much lately. Is that a good thing? Does that mean he’s managed to duck the media? Will he continue to do his evil behind closed doors, where only the occasional spider bears witness? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out the hard way.)
Here now, is another attempt to get the attention of my congressman and ask him to do whatever it takes to remove Mr. Cheney from office before more people die pursuing his feckless dreams. It is based on the hit song “Dance With Me” written by John and Johanna Hall, and performed by Orleans. I had the honor of hearing Mr. Hall perform this song solo at SUNY New Paltz at a pre-No Nukes Rally at Battery Park meeting. I was thrilled because I liked the song and it was among the first few times I ever watched an artist in person perform a song I had heard on the radio. I’ve always thought back on that experience fondly. I also enjoyed the other guest speakers that day and, while I do remember quite clearly who they were, I will not name them. (It might distract from the issue at hand.) Please enjoy the song, and feel free to sing the song quietly to yourself at work. Especially if you work in Washington, DC.
Stand With Me
Original words and music “Dance With Me” by John and Johanna Hall
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2008
Stand with me
We need to stick together
Can’t you see?
The question is now whether
Rights are falling
So I am calling
Stand with me
Tyranny
Can never be forgiven
We’re not free
The way that we are living
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 12/16/07
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has kept impeachment “off the table” for too long, and she has met the nation’s cries to impeach the Vice President (and, later, the President) with silence. This silence has spoken volumes to Bush and Cheney, the “them” of the following song parody. It’s yet another message to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, “Impeach them or else”. Enjoy.
Silence Has Told Them
Original words and music “Silence is Golden” Bob Crewe
Additional Lyrics Wayne A. Schneider copyright 2007
Oh, how it hurts deep inside
To see Nancy do nothing to them
Oh, don’t it pain to see someone lie
Oh, especially when someone is them
Silence has told them
They will both go free
Silence has told them, told them
They will both go free
Talking is cheap, when it comes from these creeps
Even though they both act like they know
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 12/07/07
An ode to Senator Larry Craig (R-ID).
Senate Queen
Original words and music, “Killer Queen”, by Freddie Mercury
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
He keeps roaming the bath stalls
In his favored habitat
‘Let me have men’, he says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in sympathy
For closets and secrecy
At anytime an invitation
He can’t decline
D.C. bars for gentlemen
Well-versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
He’s a Senate Queen
Goes prowlin’ toilet scenes
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 10/27/07
Vice President Dick Cheney scares me. He scares me more than George Bush, his Co-President. Cheney has been on a personal mission for more than thirty years to expand the powers of the Office of the President. I’ve written about that elsewhere. Now he is trying to ramp up the rhetoric to drive this country, against our collective will, into a war with Iran. Make no mistake about it. He is trying to make this happen, and his reasons have nothing to do with the best interests of this country. So I wrote this parody of The Moody Blues’ “Story In Your Eyes”, by Justin Hayward. I hope you enjoy it. If you have the original handy, put it on while you read this. It’s an extra bonus for you either way.
Story Of Your Lies
Original words and music, “Story In Your Eyes”, Justin Hayward
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
I’ve been thinking ’bout Dick Cheney
And I decided that he really is to blame
For the death he’s brought upon the world
All in our name
And the war we’re in forever
Is the problem of the story of his lies
(more…)
Thios song was originally posted on 7/09/07
Well, as more and more people are saying, it’s time to bring the troops home from Iraq. There is nothing more that can be accomplished militarily. The Iraqis themselves have to want the violence to end and to live in peace (as I hope we all would, so STFU Sen Lieberman). This time I turned to the Peter Gabriel classic, “Solisbury Hill” to express myself. (In case some of you don’t reciognize the song by that title, think “My heart was going boom boom boom”. Yeah, that’s the one.) As usual, thank you, Jane, for your helpful critiques. And I can only hope that Mr. Gabriel forgives me.
Capitol Hill
Original Words and Music “Solisbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
Climbing up on Capitol Hill
I could see I’d have a fight
Legislators standing still
Need to show ‘em what is right
Here is something I observed
Came up here to have my voice
No one seemed to have the nerve
Had to tell ‘em, “You have no choice”
They did not believe the information
Just have to trust in my persuasion
Iraq is going BOOM, BOOM, BOOM
I said, (more…)
This song was originally posted on 6/27/07
Well, Vice President Dick Cheney was in the news, again lately. It appears that he has wielded more power than anybody ever knew a veep could. He was even given authority to drop in on any meeting (except Congressional ones, thankfully) and direct activities. He has gone behind the president’s back to promote his own legislative agenda. And, of course, he downed “a beer” at a lunch break on a “hunting trip”, shot a 78-year-old man in the face, sent his friend out to lie to the press, and blew off the cops when they questioned him and asked him to submit to a blood alcohol test on the scene. Glad he’s not my friend. (Glad I’m not 78, either.) So, with apologies to Pink Floyd, here is “Cheney”, sung to the tune of “Money”. I hope you enjoy.
Cheney
Original Words and Music “Money”, by Pink Floyd
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
Cheney, go away.
Keep your nose out of my meetings now, O.K.?
Cheney, you’re an ass.
Shoot your friend’s face then act like you’ve no class.
You’re for dodging war (five deferments)
Think you’d have just a little sense
Cheney, you’re wrong.
I’m sure you’ve been incorrect all along.
Cheney, you’re a twit.
Don’t give me that Legislative Branch bullshit!
This song was originally posted on 6/26/07
It’s hard to argue that George W. Bush doesn’t love war, considering how many opportunites he’s had to end it, and how eager he is to start another one. I imagine him sitting back wondering why the rest of the world doesn’t think he’s right. In fact, I imagine his idea of a wonderful world might be something like this little parody I wrote based on the hit song “Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much)”, by Sam Cooke. I hope you enjoy.
Wonderful World (Don’t Know Why)
Original words and music “Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much)”, by Sam Cooke
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
Don’t know why it’s a mystery
Don’t know why it’s so hard to see
Don’t know why I should read a book
Don’t know why I can’t be a crook
But I do know that I love war
And I know what I could use it for
What a wonderful world this could be
Don’t know why there is diplomacy
Don’t know why they don’t bow to me
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 06/22/07
The troops have been in Iraq far too long. There is nothing left for them to accomplish militarily that will have any lasting effects without serious political changes on the part of the Iraqi people, and they don’t seem all that eager to hold up their end of the bargain. In the meantime, our brave men and women are dying a pointless death. Bring them home now. Contact your Representative and Senators and tell them to put an end to the war in Iraq right now. Sing them this song if you have to.
This is to the tune of Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit” (also known as “Go Ask Alice”). I hope you enjoy it.
Go Ask Congress
Original words and music “White Rabbit” by Grace Slick and Darby Slick.
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
One bill starts in Summer and
One bill starts in Fall.
But the ones that Bush would sign now
Won’t do anything at all.
Go ask Congress,
To get on the ball.
And if you go march in protests,
And you think it’ll help to call,
Tell ‘em our (more…)
This song was originally posted on 01/30/07. I think it helps remind us how racists do not understand their own racism.
I’m a fan of David Brock’s Media Matters for America (I highly recommend it to fans of this blog.) Recently, I got a notice that Ann Coulter had done it again. This time, Sean Hannity had invited Ann Coulter onto his radio show to discuss Democratic Presidential candidates (which strikes me a little like Dr. Josef Mengele sitting down with Adolf Eichmann to discuss important contributions by Jewish people, but maybe that’s just me.) So, Coulter says this:
”When Gerald Ford died a few weeks ago, all of the coverage kept saying, you know, coyly suggesting that he was a mediocrity, that he had never passed any major legislation, never passed any major legislation — which, you know, on one hand, we’re Republicans; we don’t want them passing legislation, we want them repealing legislation — but leaving that point aside, I mean, everything they were saying to point out how little qualified Ford was as this accidental president is surely true, you know, tenfold in the case of Obama. And I do think it does show — it further confirms my point that Democrats are racist, and they’re just stunned to find a black man who can walk and talk. And, you know, not being a racist, I’m not really that impressed with a black man who can walk and talk. I knew that.”
So did we, asshole. And that was a very racist thing to say, by the way.
Well, those of us who pay at least some attention to her ramblings know that her sanity is highly in question, but so is her gender. Thanks to Ray Davies of the Kinks for bravely writing “Lola” which, due to its ambiguous and possibly suggestive lyrics (“But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man and so is Lola”. So is Lola “glad” or “a man”?), was banned by many radio stations who just didn’t want to have to answer that question for callers.
Some things you may or may not know about Ann Coulter. She was one of several lawyers who helped Paula Jones in her imaginary pursuit of justice against president Bill Clinton (they were known as “elves”). And her e-mail address really is tom@anncoulter.com. I don’t know why.
And, as usual, thank you, Jane. Finally, the “Ann Coulter” in this song parody is purely fictional. I don’t claim that all these things are true. I just won’t say which ones I think really are. Enjoy.
UPDATE: It appears that Ann Coulter still doesn’t understand the problem of racism in this country.
Coulter
Original words and music “Lola” by Ray Davies
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider ©2007
I met her in a store down in Washington
Where she signed her book and gave customers the cold shoulder
C-O-L-D-Shoulder
She looked up to me and she said something weird
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Coulter
Ann-A-N-N-Coulter
Co-Co-Co-Co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she looked like a woman and smelled like a man
Oh my Coulter Co-Co-Co-Co Coulter
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 01/14/07
It appears that the president may have already implemented his bold plan to do whatever it is he thinks he’s accomplishing in the Middle East. The fact that the only people supporting him (besides his wife and his dog, and no one has checked with them lately) are the people he hasn’t fired for disagreeing with him. True, the generals had been asking for more troops, but that was back when they thought it would do some good. They don’t think it will now. We have to stop this president, some how (legally). One thing that’s legal is folk protest songs. Here is “Escalation”, based on the Beatles song “Revolution”. I hope you enjoy it. And, to the best of my knowledge, the president has never used those strange words you’ll see below. I just thought they sounded like the kind of thing he would say, so I included them. You have to admit, you probably wouldn’t be surprised if you heard he really said them, would you?
UPDATE: The escalation of troops in Iraq that has commonly been called “The Surge” did not, as has been commonly thought, “work”.
Escalation
Original words and music “Revolution” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, 1968
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2007
You say you want an escalation, well, you know,
You can’t go and change the world.
You tell us it’s an augmentation, well, you know,
You can’t just go and change the words.
(more…)
This song was originally posted on 12/18/06
Well, the Military Commissions Act of 2006 has inspired me to write this song parody about it and the removal of habeas corpus protections. It’s to the tune of the well-known song “Winter Wonderland”. Enjoy, and don’t be afraid to go around singing this version instead of the more popular one.
Writless Wonderland
Original words and music “Winter Wonderland” by Dick Smith and Felix Bernard, 1934
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2006
With this bill that I’m signing
I will now be defining
The times I say, “No.
To court you can’t go.”
Welcome to our writless wonderland.
Gone away is the old right.
Here to stay is a new fight.
(more…)
This song was originally posted 10/28/06
Well, call it a Freudian slip, call it what you will, but it sure sounded like Vice President Dick Cheney (who once downed a beer, shot his friend, and blew off the cops all in one day) said we’re using torture on the detainees. No, he didn’t come out and say it. He may have accidentally alluded to it. But at this point, what’s the use of constantly beating up on the prisoners? Is it going to get you any current information seeing as we’ve had many of them in custody for a few years now? So I started wondering, what must life be like for those guys in Guantanamo Bay (not necessarily the ones that had been “renditioned” to other countries before)? Well, let’s see if The Lovin’ Spoonful’s hit song “You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice” can tell us.
You Didn’t Have To Be So Mean
Original words and music “You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice” by John Sebastian and Steve Boone, 1965
Additional lyrics by Wayne A. Schneider, 2006
You didn’t have to be so mean
I would have told you anyway
If you had known who I had been
I might not still be here today
They said the time was right for me to talk to you
(more…)
For the next couple of weeks or so, I will be posting the rest of my song parodies, most of which were originally posted on my first blog. (They are no longer there.) I will post one every day until they are all posted. I invite your comments and criticisms, and I thank you for reading my song parodies. I hope you enjoy them.
